I Still Think $citard Tom is Crazy

from gossip rocks, who bothered to piece this together, so I didn't have to...Also I have no plans to bother with seeing Mission Impossible 4:

Tom Cruise to Oprah:
"I Have Been Misunderstood"
Friday May 2, 2008

Harpo Productions, Inc.
In the first part of his interview with Oprah Winfrey (airing Friday), Tom Cruise reveals that he jumped on her couch in 2005 because he was so in love with Katie Holmes and couldn't contain himself.

Winfrey confessed that the incident caught her by surprise.

"When we finished that show with you jumping up on the sofa, I was like, 'Wow. What was that?'" she tells him in an interview in his Telluride, Colo., home. "I had no idea it was going to turn into an international brouhaha, as I'm sure you did not either."

She even confesses, "I was a little nervous coming up this morning, I have to admit, because you and I have not sat down for a real conversation since the sofa incident."

Cruise tells Winfrey, "I just felt that way, and I feel that way about her.

"I can't even articulate it, to be honest," he adds. "That feeling, that connection. Just who she is and what she means to me."

Of the negative response to his couch jumping, Cruise says, "It just kind of kept going.

"Those things I kind of go, 'You just have to take in stride.' It just kind of became a confluence of things."

ON ATTACKING MATT LAUER

He also opened up about his 2005 interview with Matt Lauer (Cruise attacked the anchor, calling him "glib" during a chat about psychiatry and the use of anti-depressant drugs).

"I was feeling pressed in the interview with Matt Lauer," Cruise says. "For me, my issue was really about child drugging. It's not like it is today, like people are really kind of openly talking about this."

(Cruise now says of medicating children, "I think the parent should be able to and should make that decision.")

ON SLAMMING BROOKE SHIELDS

He says his comments on post-partum depression "came out wrong." (He slammed Brooke Shields in the same 2005 interview for taking Paxil to treat post-partum depression following the birth of her daughter Rowan.)

"What I regret is even discussing Brooke in any way," Cruise says.

He says the incident has brought the two of them "closer" (Shields attended his 2006 wedding to Holmes.)

ON BEING A SCIENTOLOGIST

Cruise dodges Winfrey's question about whether he feels people negatively target him because of his Scientology involvement.

"It's a minority religion, and I think that sometimes people misinterpret [it]," he says. "I think the best thing is for people to read about it themselves. I believe people have the right to choose what they believe in.

"The code of Scientologists says you respect the religious beliefs of others," Cruise adds. "That's part of being a Scientologist, and that's who I am as a person."

In January, videos leaked online of Cruise at Scientology events discussing the religion. He says the footage "was stolen. I was receiving an award that evening for global literacy. It was a very private moment. I'm actually talking to my congregation."

"It's [taken] totally out of context," he adds.

ON KEEPING SURI HIDDEN FOR SO LONG

Lots of rumors spread about their daughter, Suri, because the couple kept her hidden after she was born. Some blogs speculated that the child was deformed. That talk, Cruise says, was "hard to hear.

"We just want to have our baby, have the kids and everyone get to know Suri, get the family up here and just chill and have that time that you never get back," he explains. "You don't ever get those moments back."

On waiting three months to publish her photo in Vanity Fair in 2006, Cruise says, "Kate and I didn't feel any need to [rush] it. We said, 'Why? It's our family.' We just were on Suri time."

ON HIS MARRIAGE WITH HOLMES BEING FAKE

"That's laughable to me," Cruise says. 'You just know that they're trying to sell it and spin it."

He says Holmes' Catholic family has welcomed him.

"They're amazing. I love them," Cruise says. "You see why Kate is such an amazing woman -- incredible integrity and strength. They're family."

ON RUMORS THAT HE HAS PUSHED NICOLE KIDMAN OUT OF THEIR KIDS' LIVES

"No, that's ridiculous," he says. "We share custody. That's what it is."


ON HIS REPUTATION

"Listen I, I feel like definitely things have been misunderstood, and there are things I could have done better," Cruise admits. "But then there's also that world where you go, 'Oh, it's been spun to such an extent that ... that's a truth also.'

He continues, "Knowing when and where to communicate, I think that's important.

"A lot of times I was nervous giving interviews. Or I wasn't sometimes as comfortable about things. And I realized that it's okay.

"There's stuff you have to just let go," Cruise adds. "I just have to do the best I can."

Usmagazine.com | Us Weekly Celebrity Breaking News Blog

*I don't buy it, he's still so far removed from reality that he has no clue. Sad, really*

Story Time!

So, my dealer and I were at a bar (shock! What do you mean?) and it was crazy enough that this old African American guy decided he had to come over and talk to us, telling us about our zodiac signs were and what they meant and all....I love it when someone thinks they can totally relate and know who you are just because of what your birthdate is.....I mean, I thought that was all over when it was figured out that the earth is not, in fact, flat, nor is it the center of the universe.....anyway, he was quite drunk and eventually started going on about being from another planet called Altreus or some shit. He said that you got there be getting in an aluminum box (a coffin?), going underground and through a tube that shot you into space and there or something.....

My dealer was trying to not laugh, I had my "oh really?" face on and another guy who happened to sit next to us was subjected to this spectacle as well.....I wondered if he was a $citard. It got even funnier! He sighed and sat back saying that he was very tired, having died and been reborn several times, he had been to many different planets and didn't even know which one he was on right now.....Right before he left he asked the barmaid if he was crazy, to which she diplomatically replied that she was no one to judge.

We were about to die laughing after he left, noting that he had stated that at one point he had been on the air as a DJ in Cincinnatti and I said he should have his own radio show, People would tune in just to hear the crazy! My dealer told the barmaid that when the crazy guy asked her if he was crazy, she should have said an clear "yes, you're bat shit nuts." (This is where it gets really crazy). The barmaid, who obviously wasn't hired for her intellectual ability or was very stoned, I'm not sure which, said, "Bats shit nuts? I didn't know bats ate nuts." My dealer and I both looked at her like, whut?

And after having had enough crazy, we left.

Iron Man

Just got back from seeing it and was NOT disappointed! Very clever, very fun, very much recommend! LOVE Robert Downey Jr., he was the perfect pick to play Tony Stark. I would wreck my body for that man, I would have his babies! So sexy, so totally Mr. Cool.

Iron Man is the story of playboy Tony stark, who inherited his father's weapons manufacturing empire. He plays, he drinks, he fucks. He gets kidnapped after a horrible landmine incident and his life is changed after being saved by a fellow prisoner, who happens to be a doctor. I don't want to give to much away. But Iron Man is born and Tony Manages to escape. It is an easy role, at least RDJ seemed to assume the role with ease, convincing us without effort that he is, in fact, Tony Stark.

Gwyneth Paltrow plays his personal assistant, or as is common in action movies, "the girl." "The girl" isn't a difficult role, she just has to fulfill whatever look is required for the picture. She isn't bad as Pepper Potts. At first she is dry, but shows that she has a human side and true affection for her boss, Tony Stark.

The bad guy turns out to be Tony's longtime business partner, who was also his father's friend, but again, I don't want to give too much away.

Overall, Iron Man was inspiring, awing, great fun and I want to own a copy. The writing was good, the acting was top-notch and I was not bored at any time during the film. It did not reach too far or try to hard to impress, it didn't need to. Forget Batman, Forget Superman, Iron Man is supreme! The message that I took away, intended or not, was that unlike the typical American "Throw a bunch of money at some stuff and the problem will be solved" was more like "Throw a lot of money at one specific problem and you can probably not only solve it but others could benefit as well."

Be sure to stay for the very very end, after all the credits have rolled, to see a quick preview of Iron Man 2.

WTF

An Actor's strike? Really? Mary, please.

"The AMPTP has been negotiating with SAG now for 13 days. Last week, we asked AFTRA to delay the start of its negotiations until May 5th so that we could give the SAG talks every opportunity to produce an agreement. Since the SAG negotiations are due to wrap up on Friday, May 2nd, today is a good time to let you know where things stand.

When we requested an extra week for the SAG negotiations, we told you that there were "significant gaps" between the parties. Candidly, we must offer the same assessment of the negotiations today, with just over two days to go. Although both parties have spent considerable time in the negotiating room, we are not yet close to an agreement. This is the case for two fundamental reasons:

SAG contracts are up with the AMPTP (studios/producers/media companies). AMPTP wants them to use the same formula as the deal they made with the Writers. SAG eventually agreed, but want to make over 70 changes (including wage hikes up to 200%). This would lead to enormous cost increases. Studio's will likely not green-light any new projects because of fear of the strike, which could last to mid-July.

Ew

Looks like the celebrity baby boom that started last year is far from over. Move over Angelina and Ashlee because Beyonce is going to be adding her name onto the celebrity mommy list.

Hollyscoop has learned exclusively through multiple sources that Beyonce is expecting. A source close to the couple revealed, "Beyonce is 100% pregnant, which is why the couple rushed their wedding." The source also told Hollyscoop that all the friends and family that attended the ultra private wedding were all aware that Beyonce was already expecting.

Our source added that Beyonce is in her early stages, but don’t expect this star to come out with a confirmation statement anytime soon. The couple is pretty private about their personal lives--they still haven't even confirmed their wedding. But the source confirmed that she is expecting and they rushed the wedding due to Beyonce's strong Christian beliefs.
HS Exclusive: Beyonce Is Pregnant! | Hollyscoop

You're Shitting Me

May 1, 2008 --

"Touch My Body" singer Mariah Carey got secretly hitched to her 27-year-old boyfriend-of-one-month, shocking the chart-topping songbird's family and friends, The Post has learned.

Carey married little-screen actor Nick Cannon at the home Carey just bought in Eleuthera, the Bahamas, a source close to the singer said.

"They have been smitten with each other for days, weeks," the friend said. "And she's always had a crush on him."

It's the second marriage for Carey, who took her first walk down the aisle with record kingpin Tommy Mottola.

Cannon has last been linked with Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks, to whom Cannon proposed via the Times Square jumbotron. Five months later, the couple broke up.

Carey, 38, and her boy-toy had tongues wagging when she was seen sporting Cannon on her arm and a shiny ring on her finger at the Tribeca Film Festival.

When asked what he loved about Carey, Cannon reportedly cooed "everything."

"Everyone is happy to see her happy," Carey's friend told The Post. "And it could work out -" some people know each other for five years and get divorced, maybe this is true instant love."

Not everyone is so over-the-moon.

"There was no pre-nup - there wasn't time," said another worried source.

Guests at the wedding included Carey's longtime pal, rapper Da Brat.

Falling Down

It's ScarJo's released song! Wanna hear? I almost wanted to gouge out my ears with a spork. She had Tom waits and David Bowie try to polish her turd but I don't think that helped.

Hear for yourself.

Here's one review from handbag gossip:

Falling Down, a new track from Scarlett Johansson, has appeared online and been roundly panned by critics. The track is from Scarlett’s upcoming album Anywhere I Lay My Head, a record of Tom Waits covers, and features David Bowie on backing vocals.

*Really, ScarJo? Just a cover of somebodyelse's songs? Really? An entire fucking album of it?*

The on line response hasn’t been good. “Warning! There's a rumour going around that some people have heard this version of the song and never smiled again,” say gossip site Holy Moly. While top gossip blog What Would Tyler Durden Do was less kind. “Scarlett Johansson has set the new bar for awfulness with her Tom Waits cover of Falling Down. The only way this experience could be any worse is if this monitor grew arms and started stabbing you.”

For Roger Clemens

who is now Douchey McDouche. Maybe his wife should listen.
Yazoo's Situation:

Well, duh!

I thought the Cruises and the Beckhams already had a falling out, is this a new one?

from handbag gossip:



Scientology is being blamed for a reported rift between the Cruises and the Beckhams, the Daily Mail claims. A source tells the paper, "Katie and Tom want to surround themselves with fellow Scientologists these days, and they are distancing themselves from anyone who is not a believer. For Tom, a non-believer like Victoria is very dangerous. She is opinionated, strong-minded, privately very against Scientology and has voiced her doubts." However Tom's spokeswoman Julie Polkes denies the claims. "Tom does not judge his friends habits or non-habits," she explained. "The constant reports they are not friends are ridiculous. Tom and Katie are extremely close to the Beckhams."

Shiteous!!!

Those pants are horrific!!! Posh, come on, don't you have better sense? Say NO to elephant ears!

Britney looks good!

She was leaving a recording studio wearing a nightgown she stole from grandma.....but she's looking better!

Leah Remini is a horrible mother

*For the recored, I have no children and my 2 cats and dog walk all over me, literally. But with children, even I know better. Way to raise a spoiled, entitlement-seeking, self-centered, developmentally retarded brat, Leah. Get a spine and be a parent. JEZUZ that is one of so many reasons I haven't subjected myself to motherhood*





Leah Remini's daughter, Sofia Bella, is nearly 4-years-old and she's still on the bottle. Leah invited The Rachael Ray show into her home to share her struggle in getting her daughter off the bottle.

She said, "My daughter runs the house. The problem I'm having with bottle-feeding is basically that Sofia drinks six or more bottles a night. We're hearing that it's not good for her. In talking to our pediatrician, they almost fell off their chair when we said she's still on the bottle. So I'm thinking maybe it's not right."

Hmm....you think? Something tells me her "pediatrician" is Tom Cruise. Don't those Scientologists give you classes on how to take care of your kid and shit? Yeah, those classes probably just teach you how to brainwash your kids properly.

Leah and her husband have become exhausted from changing diapers and bottles at all hours. Leah also doesn't think you should judge her ass. She told the NYDN, "They might have their kid off the bottle, but that kid still may be walking around with a pacifier in their mouth, which according to pediatricians is equally as bad."

Rachael introduced Leah to another pediatrician who is helping her get Sofia Bella off the bottle. A Rachael Ray viewer and mother of three was also brought in to help Leah with her first night of weaning Sofia off the bottle.

Things didn't go so well and Sofia Bella started crying immediately for her bottle. Leah said, "Sofia was crying again for a bottle of milk and then I started crying I think because I felt so bad. It just doesn't feel right for me to have a screaming baby and to say no to a bottle." Leah is still working at getting her daughter off the bottle, but said it's not going to happen overnight.
I'm not a mother or anything, but shouldn't you be off the bottle by the age of 4?

Dlisted | Be Very Afraid

Madonna: In it for herself?

I do give Britney credit for at least having the sense to not get involved in Madonna's cult. It all smells like bullshit to me. Madge, you are so far removed from the real world and from real people that you simply no longer have a clue. Sit down and STFU.

from foxnews:

Madonna Film: Kabbalah Propaganda

It’s not new to say that Madonna Louise Ciccone has a lot of nerve. After all, she’s said and done just about everything to get our attention, including a book of her sex poses.

However: The documentary she’s made about Africa, "I Am Because We Are," sort of takes the cake and shoves it in the face of the audience. The film, made by her former gardener but with her imprimatur, debuted Thursday night at the Tribeca Film Festival.

Condescending? Yes. Unknowing? Oh, you’d best believe it. Naïve? Eminently.

The pièce de résistance came after the screening, when one audience member asked what our government can do or is doing about Malawi?

Madonna’s informed reply: "I don’t know what our government does," she said, eliciting laughter, "except put us into debt and blow up other countries."

Maybe she should look this up: According to USAID Malawi, the United States gives $35 million annually to the tiny country. And that’s just a small example of aid that’s been given and still is to Malawi not just from the U.S., but from Britain and other countries. Simply Google "Malawi" and "U.S. aid" to find many dozens of instances of help that seem to have escaped Madonna’s purview.

But the worst thing about Madonna’s take on the poor southern African country of Malawi is that she and the gardener — Nathan Rissman — deliver a sizeable wallop of the Kabbalah Center of Los Angeles without informing the audience about what’s going on.

Indeed, the film uses Harvard celebrity sycophant Jeffrey Sachs and a number of Malawi's government officials and mixes them in with Kabbalah staff and philosophy. Even Bill Clinton is thrown in. The result is that all these people seem implicitly to endorse Kabbalah.

What Madonna and Rissman conveniently leave out of "I Am" is that SFK, a philosophy adopted by the Malawians in the film, stands for Spirituality for Kids, which is the teaching curriculum for Philip Berg’s Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles.

The Kabbalah Center has nothing to do with Judaism. It’s a wholly original process conceived by Berg and his wife, Karen. Some might say it’s a pyramid scheme. At the very least, it’s a cult.

Madonna and Rissman are clever about the way "SFK" is woven into "I Am." For the first hour of the film, it’s not even mentioned. Instead, we hear and see horror stories about Malawi's children and mothers living with and dying from AIDS. We’re told over and over that Madonna’s foundation is going to change all of this.

And yet, Madonna’s foundation, Raising Malawi, still remains unregistered as an official charity in the United States. Her Web site refers back to Spirituality for Kids, a main division of the Kabbalah Center. High-up members of Kabbalah also are on the Raising Malawi board. Contributions made to Raising Malawi — such as the $3.7 million raised with Gucci in February — go straight to "SFK" and Kabbalah.

The pictures in "I Am Because We Are" are graphic; the stories are hair-raising and tragic. But the overall effect is like watching a late-night infomercial from the Christian Children’s Fund.

Better than "I Am Because We Are," the film could have been called, "Rich Rock Star Discovers Disease and Poverty in Africa." This part of the film reminded me of a story about a newly hired British editor at a New York magazine who returned from lunch one December and exclaimed: "Did you know there was a big Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center?"

And you know she is well-meaning. Despite the Kabbalah babble and Madonna’s underlying persistence in explaining how she adopted a child in violation of Malawi law, her narration suggests that she was truly overwhelmed when she first set foot in that country. But this happens to anyone who goes to Africa for the first time. I get it. I felt the same way the first time I saw conditions in neighboring countries like Zambia and Botswana.

The problem with "I Am" is that neither Madonna nor Rissman really has any concept of anything other than her interests. Now that she has discovered Malawi, it doesn’t occur to Madonna that other agencies are working there, that anyone else has ever noticed or done anything to help their people or that the government — theirs, ours — cares one bit. She’s Madonna, she’s arrived and the problem will be solved.

Worse still is that, via her narration, we’re not sure if Madonna thinks the people of the country are smart or stupid, motivated or lazy. She declares the Malawians have a wonderful spirit, then declares that no such feeling could ever be found on Central Park West, Rodeo Drive or London’s Park Lane. (These apparently are the only other world references in her life.) It’s quite appalling.

I’m paraphrasing here, but there’s actually a moment in the narration where she declares: "Can you imagine another place where people are good to each other, care about each other or care about each other?" The actual quote is better than that, but it’s maybe the most ridiculous thing ever uttered on film.

Indeed, the film actually shows Malawi's adults regurgitating Kabbalah propaganda they’ve been inculcated with in order to teach the orphans in their country. (No mention is made in the film of the Kabbalah Center's flying them to Los Angeles for this indoctrination.)

It’s kind of shocking — after seeing all the poverty and disease that’s been imposed on them — to hear Malawi's children then recite back the Kabbalah/SFK dictum that they themselves "are responsible for their choices" and that "their actions can positively influence the quality of their lives." Is the moral of Madonna’s movie: Pull yourselves up by your bootstraps?

The brief Q&A session with Madonna and Rissman came after the screening and — I must add this — a standing ovation from the lemming-like audience of people who probably have never read an issue of Foreign Affairs. One woman behind me kept raising her hand to ask a question, adding "I’m from Africa!" She was ignored.

Jamie Lynn Spears is still an idiot

Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant but apparently she was under the impression that she would get fat for a while then doctor would walk her down to the river where her new baby would be wrapped in blankets and floating in a basket. She doesn't seem to like the alternative. Star Magazine says:

A source tells Star that when the Spears family matriarch showed her seven-months-pregnant 17-year-old daughter a video of a real natural childbirth, Jamie Lynn threw up! "Lynne was trying to be helpful," a source tells Star. "She wanted to show Jamie Lynn what a woman goes through giving birth, that it's a natural and beautiful thing, but all Jamie Lynn saw was the blood - or 'goop,' as she called it - the screaming and the pain. It was too graphic for her. She flipped out and literally got sick." Now Jamie Lynn is totally freaked out. "She is wondering if a C-section is possible," the source adds. "She wants to be knocked out and then wake up when it's all over."

*Maybe mama shoulda showed that to the little ho before she got knocked up*

For your weekend entertainment....

Here's Lords of Acid!

Poor Nicole....

She just can't rid herself of Pari$ite and her man just won't stick around...

Rumour sweeping the states is that Nicole Richie's rapid weight loss is down to the fact that her partner Joel Madden has had a crisis of confidence and has left the house leaving Nicole with baby and a bout of post-natal depression. :( (Holy Moly!)

Pals Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are planning a double wedding to their partners Joel and Benji Madden.

Former Simple Life co stars Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are planning a lavish double wedding to boyfriends, Good Charlotte twins Benji and Joel Madden, Showbiz Spy has claimed. Insiders say the friends are planning their double ceremony for, guess what, they millions it would generate! A source said, “Paris is doing it all for attention, as usual. It’s a publicity stunt, just like everything else.”

Awesome....

from handbag gossip:

Good Charlotte is fed up with Pari$ite and is trying to convince Benji to dump her!

Punk pop band Good Charlotte are trying to get their guitarist Benji Madden to dump his girlfriend Paris Hilton.

Good Charlotte are trying to get Paris Hilton off their current world tour, the Mirror reports. The socialite has recently been travelling with the band after getting together with guitarist Benji Madden, but the rest of the band, including Nicole Richie’s fiancé Joel Madden, don’t like it, sources say. “Paris is desperately trying to fit in with the band,” the insider claims, adding, “She has outstayed her welcome. Everyone is hoping he'll wake up soon and dump her.”

PWNED!!!1!!

"She said she was going to win an Oscar before she turns 25. I just kept thinking, 'But you can't act.'" — "Harry Potter" actor Rupert Grint, talking about meeting Lindsay Lohan (Source: London Sun;

yadda yadda yadda

like we didn't already know, whatev!

Jones married Al Reynolds, 39, at Saint Bartholomew's Church in New York City on Nov. 13, 2004. The wedding, which had 500 hundred guests, three matrons of honors, 12 bridesmaids and four flower girls, came under scrutiny when Jones discussed its sponsors at length on her ABC show.

An attorney, Jones began her broadcasting career as a commentator on Court TV and spent several years as a legal correspondent for NBC's "Today" show. She joined "The View" in 1997 and on June 27, 2006, announced she would be leaving the show after being told that her contract wasn't going to be renewed.
Jones also hosted her own show on cable's truTV (formerly Court TV). She has authored two books: "You Have to Stand for Something, or You'll Fall for Anything" and "Shine."

*Sit down & shut up Star!*

Quiet and who cares

from msnbc.com:

NEW YORK - The matrimony of singer-actress Beyonce Knowles and hip-hop mogul Jay-Z is official — the couple have filed marriage papers, a town clerk in a New York City suburb said on Tuesday.

The couple held a lavish private celebration in Manhattan on April 4, but have been mum about the details of their wedding. Guests reportedly included Gwyneth Paltrow and Beyonce’s former Destiny’s Child bandmates, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams.

“The license was sent back to our office on Friday,” said Donna Conkling, the town clerk of Scarsdale Village in suburban Westchester County. She would not say who officiated.