FUNNY!

My goal is to hit 500 posts before the end of the year....But this is funny as hell!

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off of thisislondon.co.uk:

A drunk company director was in court today after passing out on a railway track in the afternoon rush hour.

Kevin Craswell, 48, consumed a "lethal" amount of vodka and was seen by passengers at 3.30pm crawling along the railway at Epsom.

Astonishing pictures show him asleep and using the rail as a pillow. Witnesses even said they could hear him snoring from the platform.

Police said he was extraordinarily lucky to have survived. Oncoming trains had to be diverted at the last minute.

Staff took almost half an hour to wake Craswell and it caused Network Rail almost four hours of subsequent delays, costing £7,296.

Craswell, a company director from Ashstead who had "fallen on hard times", was taken to hospital where he later received an on-the-spot fine for being drunk and disorderly.

He has pleaded guilty to a charge of "obstructing the railway by neglect" at Redhill magistrates.

Graham Guerin, defending Craswell, had told an earlier hearing: "This is a professional man who fell on hard times five years ago and developed a drink problem. He had drunk a substantial amount of vodka and has no recollection of this incident. But he acknowledges the danger he presented not only to himself but to others.

"Since this happened he has taken steps to help himself and also arranged to see a counsellor."

So...

Somebody with some sense finally stepped in!

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off of Page Six:

Party's Over

THE friendship between Britney Spears and Paris Hilton was short, sweet and photogenic. But now, it seems, it's over. A source close to Spears explains why the pop tart, who lost her undies last week, has not been seen with her "new best friend" Hilton since she posted an apology to her fans on her Web site, noting, "Thank God for Victoria's Secret underwear!" The source said, "Britney has been told by her people that if she ever wants a comeback, she has to stay far away from Paris and start acting like an adult."

Guilty Pleasure

Limp Biskit with Rollin




Enjoy!

So the moral of the story is....

stay away from Indian guys? They aren't "up" to snuff it seems!

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off of msnbc.com:

NEW DELHI - Condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men as their penises fall short of what manufacturers had anticipated, an Indian study has found.

The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run center, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 percent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had penises about 1 inch shorter than those condoms catered for.

For a further 30 percent, the difference was at least 2 inches. A poor fit meant the prophylactics often didn't do the job they were bought for, and led to some tearing or slipping off during use.

"One of the reasons for a failure of up to 20 percent (of condoms) is the association of the size of the condom to the erect penis," the council's Dr. Chander Puri told Reuters, adding another reason was couples often put them on in a hurry.

Puri said many men in India, which has the world's highest HIV positive caseload, were too shy to ask for condoms.

"We need more vending machines for condoms of different sizes so people can pick a condom with confidence that is suited to their needs," he said.

The Times of India reported the ICMR survey had studied 1,400 men between 18-50 years of age in cities like Mumbai and New Delhi as well as in rural areas in a report. It entitled its story "Indian men don't measure up."

Frat Boys Lose!

Borat wins! Let the sexy fun time continue!!

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off of reuters:

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - As the esteemed Kazakh television journalist Borat Sagdiyev might say: "High Five. Sexy Time. You Lose."

Two college fraternity buddies shown guzzling alcohol and making racist remarks in the "Borat" movie have lost their bid for a court order to cut the scene they claim has tarnished their reputations, court papers revealed on Monday.

The students sued the movie's distributor and producers last month, saying filmmakers had duped them into appearing in "Borat" by getting them drunk and falsely promising the film would never be shown in the United States.

At the time the suit was filed, a judge denied the pair's request for a temporary restraining order that would remove footage of them from the film, but the plaintiffs were given a another chance to seek an injunction at a hearing last week.

The South Carolina college students lost again when Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Joseph Biderman ruled they had failed to show a reasonable probability of success on the merits of their case or that money damages alone would be insufficient to resolve their claims.

Arguments on the latest motion focused mainly on the future DVD release of the hit movie, "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan."

The faux documentary, distributed by 20th Century Fox, has already grossed more than $120 million at the North American box office after six weeks in theaters.

The lawyer for the students, Olivier Taillieu, said last week that while the film's theatrical run is coming to a close, the perpetuity of the film on DVD posed ongoing problems for his clients, including harm to their ability to seek work.

Last month, Taillieu said the movie had cost one of the students a job at a major corporation and another a prestigious internship. The students were identified in court papers only as John Doe 1 and John Doe 2. A third student involved in the scene did not take part in the suit.

The film stars British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen as a fictional Kazakh TV journalist whose boorish sensibilities clash with ordinary Americans. The story line is driven by a series of improvised encounters with people who become Baron Cohen's unsuspecting foils.

The scene at issue in the lawsuit depicts Borat getting drunk with three frat boys in a motor home while they watch a sex tape and make racist remarks about slavery and minorities in the United States.

20th Century Fox is a unit of News Corp.

How I want to be buried....

But already done in Australia, so I'd just be copying. Dammit.

Speaking of bad role models....

Ok maybe not role models cuz we all know that's crap....but parade around poor self-image...and $cientology is getting their hooks in! watch out Will & Jada Smith!!! You're next!!

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also off of page six:

THAT Victoria Beckham styled Katie Holmes for an upcoming Harper's Bazaar cover, and during the 300-plus person shoot in Los Angeles, the production team was told not to look either of them in the eye.

Gee, you think?

This is only going to be looked at because the fashion industry doesn't want outside regulations! Bastards, of course there's a problem!! First models were waaaaay too young, now they are too skinny!

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off of page six:

December 11, 2006 -- LEADERS of New York's fashion industry will meet soon to figure out how to deal with increasing calls for laws to keep dangerously underfed models off the catwalks.
Vogue Editor-in-Chief Anna Wintour is spearheading the effort to get the session together.

"Anna held a symposium on the issue, and she's planning another meeting this week," said one model agency chief. "We would much rather come up with a way of self-policing ourselves than have regulations rammed down our throats."

The head of another modeling agency said, "Everyone should take a look at it, and if there's a problem, let's fix it."

Italy's government and its fashion chiefs said last week they're working on a plan to crack down on ultra-thin models who appear to be suffering from eating disorders.

The move came three months after Spain passed a law requiring that every model have a body-mass index of at least 18 (a measure of body fat). Last month, Brazilian model Ana Carolina Reston died at age 21 from anorexia.

Besides the beauties' health, the fashion honchos fear they'll be blamed for promoting unhealthy body images for generations of teenage girls.

Washington Post fashion writer Robin Givhan says many models today are "pale, almost to the point of translucent, and astonishingly thin. They look positively rickety. Seeing one in a swimsuit can make you shudder. They are not sexy or even particularly pretty. How can they be when they look as though the life has been sucked out of them?"

The skinniest seem to come from Eastern Europe. Givhan names Snejana Onopka, Vlada Roslyakova and Sasha Pivovarova.

"Over a typical runway season, the same models appear so often on different runways that it is easy to become immune to how shockingly thin they are. After a while, it seems normal that a model's thighs are the same circumference as a 12-year-old's upper arm," Givhan wrote.

"If the industry does not think carefully about the current aesthetic," she warned, "what comes next could be truly ghastly."

Pari$ite tacky? *rolls eyes*

off of page six:

Stavros' Parents Snub Paris

WE are shocked - shocked! - that Paris Hilton may have bought her own faux engagement ring to start speculation that Stavros Niarchos is going to marry her. Hilton wore a fake diamond solitaire on her left ring finger to an alice+olivia dinner party last week and wouldn't answer questions about her and Niarchos. But close friends say they're not engaged - and moreover, the shipping heir's parents have no intention of even meeting their son's sometime succubus. "They refused to meet her last year when Paris and Stavros had dated for a while," a source said. "Paris even followed him and his family to Hawaii, where they go every New Year's, and they still wouldn't meet her. They think she's tacky." It's a sentiment that seems to be shared by the father of Nicky Hilton's paramour, David Katzenberg. A family friend said Jeffrey Katzenberg, the former Disney exec who co-founded DreamWorks, "thinks the Hiltons are just . . . lowbrow and that his son is young and should be dating around." Meanwhile, it's only been a month, but Nicky and David are already saying, "I love you."