Swingers for Jesus!!!

from foxnews.com:

PITTSBURGH — A Pennsylvania couple is fighting to maintain a church they run from a Huntingdon Township home, which officials say is really a raunchy swingers club where single men have to pay for access but women come for free.

John and Kim Ondrik say they worship nature at the Church for Spiritual Humanism. But midnight mass at the Spiritual Palace is on hold as the Rev. John and his wife fight for a variance to continue practicing their religion in a residential area just outside of Pittsburgh.

Opponents of his church, including neighbors and North Huntingdon Township officials, say what's really behind those closed doors is a club called the "Swinger's Palace."

Township commissioner Richard Gray said it's been an open secret that a swingers club has operated out of the two-story house since the 1970s, but they finally have the evidence to shut it down.

Gray said the dispute is not about church or sex — it's about having a business operating in a residentially zoned area.

"The mere fact that they were charging a mandatory fee to get in, in my opinion, would constitute a business," he said.

An attorney representing John Ondrik told FOX News that members in the private church give a donation and aren't charged to get inside the midnight masses, which typically take place on Friday and Saturday nights.

"You have a right to run a church in a residential area not because of your free exercise rights under the Constitution, but simply because churches are not primarily commercial," said Bruce Ledewitz, a law professor at Duquesne University.

Ledewitz said the Ondriks might have a case if they can convince authorities they're sincere about their religion and that they truly believe in their church.

But keeping the Palace open might be a tough sell. Its Web site, which was recently taken offline, showed that couples were charged an admission of $50 while single men had to pay $75. Single women could attend free of charge.

Self-described swinger "Dave" said he and his partner paid money to get into the club.
"You didn't get in without paying money. If you didn't pay your money you were going back out the door."

Dave has offered to testify for the township in opposition to Ondrik's attempt to secure a variance.
"At first I was a little amused, but then when I saw him bring in religion and all the lies I saw him conjuring up, it pissed me off," said Dave.

He's positive he didn't have a religious experience when he was there.

"There was no preaching. … There was no congregation. There was no gold dish being passed around. There was no pews, no pulpit, no nothing. It's not what was going on there," he told FOX News.

Ledewitz says Ondrik would have to battle to keep his doors open. "From the little I can see I think he's got an uphill fight to convince the zoning authorities, first that he's sincere, and secondly that the activities are not primarily commercial in nature."

Through his attorney John Ondrik refused an interview and rescinded an offer to give FOX News a tour of his church.

A ruling on the variance is expected Oct. 14. If it's denied, the Ondriks are expected to appeal.

After Ike, click here for pics

I think I'm ready to talk about it now, we seem to be out of the woods as far as the worst goes! Forgive the length, writing is therapy for me and sometimes it can be a lot.

We just got power and water back last night, almost a full week after Ike hit us. I have very much missed coffee and hot showers! I got called back into work Tuesday, we needed to pay vendor bills very badly so as not to be cut off from our contracts. The company's plants on the port of Houston are badly damaged and even as of today, Saturday, we only have one plant fully operational. We can send stuff out by truck but can't take in and we have ships hanging out in the Gulf of Mexico waiting to deliver but can't come into the ports because of damage. We know that the port area was hit very very hard besides Houston and the Galveston area. All the refineries there are struggling to get back up and running.

Don't be fooled, the press is downplayng a lot of fatalies and damage here. It was a lot worse than anyone anticipated, there are a lot of dead unaccounted for in Galveston and Port Bolivar/Crystal Beach as well as the port towns. Reports on Fox news and MSNBC say that a lot of people who did not evacuate were washed out into the gulf. I believe this to be true. There were maybe a third of people who actually got out and since the search and rescues, no real dead have been found. What happened to those who stayed? Where are they?

In the Gulf. A lot of people died, washed away. Everyone in Houston and in the surrounding areas, myself included, didn't think it would be that big of a deal, it wouldn't be that bad. We had been lucky with Rita and with the storm that came through on Aug. 5th. The weather channel kept trying to warn people but we all reacted like they were just being drama queens, making things out to be worse than it would really turn out to be, for ratings. Notice that all the focus right now is on Galveston and Crystal Beach. What is going on that isn't being shown? There are a lot of questions that a lot of us have and the survivors of the dead in the port area as well are going to have even more questions. So far the official count is 47, but when the death certificates get issued for life insurance, it will be in the thousands. I don't believe anyone here is really ready to think about that, to really confront mentally that so many died, it is a devastating thought. Ppl want to think that the rest got out or just hav'nt been found yet and I don't think they ever will be. They were swept away. If you bring it up around here, folks are quick to change the subject, don't want to think about it.

We were lucky at our house, we took no house damage, we only lost power and water. It took a week to get it back but overall, we did just fine. It was good to be called into work, even thought at first I didn't want to go. It was good to get some sort of distraction, of normalcy, of regular pattern back into gear. It's nice to have TV back too....we watched it on and off during the week thanks to a power invertor Brian had bought that ran off the truck or car engine. We needed to know what was happening.

Brian and I are fine, we are making sure that the trees in our yard get taken down because had this storm been worse, we may have had on fall on the house and we're not having it! So the three must come down.

What I think I shall remember most about the storm was been awakened by the wind, the loud WHHOOOOOOOSSH at 4 am and went on for hours. Tried to get video while the storm raged but it was dark, like silhouettes on black, and you could only see the movement of the trees being thrust around. stupide me, I opened our front door to stick my head out and when i saw how strong the whole thing was, i slammed the door back shut to just look out the window. We did have the eye come over us, that was bizarre and cool, to go from furious wind and rain to much calmer, stiller wind. That lasted maybe 2-3 hours then went back into hard rain and wind but not as bad as the first round.

It was a relief to find out that after all the noise and banging around we heard all night, that we didn't have much damage, we thought maybe it hadn't been that bad. Then we got the TV working and watched the reports and saw the pictures. Galveston destroyed, Bolivar peninsula destroyed. We were in shock. The next day we saw pictures of DT Houston with many of the taller buildings having the windows blown out. It was hard to look at, I won't lie. I was depressed for a couple of days. We weren't sure what was going on, how long this would last or anything. Reports were spotty, cell phone service was spotty.

We pretty much lived in our garage the whole week, cooking on our camp stove (I recommend getting one) and getting what news we could from TV and radio. we had the luxury of camp equipment to get us by. At least Captain Fantastic didn't get very down or stressed out....don't get me wrong, he was stressed, everyone was. But he took care of us.

What kept cracking us up and frustrating us was that on TV, they would keep referring to the web to find more information.....like, "go to this site to find out more" or to do this or that and we were like, HELLO!!! WE HAVE NO POWER!!!!! how is anybody supposed to go to a website??

I dread to think how much worse it could have been had this been a cat 3 or cat 4....Houston got hit hard enough but a stronger storm would have been crippling.

At least the weather afterwards was pleasant, it wasn't terribly hot and it was nice and cool at night so sleep was good and restful. Now we have power back.

LOL, had to share!

from the new lol celebs on I can haz cheezburger:

Oh wow....

My best wishes for returned health go out to these guys! from msnbc.com:

COLUMBIA, S.C. - Former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and a popular disc jockey were critically injured in a Learjet crash in South Carolina that killed four people, authorities said Saturday.

Federal Aviation Administration spokeswoman Kathleen Bergen said the plane carrying six people was departing shortly before midnight Friday when air traffic controllers reporting seeing sparks. The plane went off a runway and crashed on a nearby road, she said.

Hospital spokeswoman Beth Frits said Barker and DJ AM, whose real name is Adam Goldstein, were in critical condition at a burn center in Augusta, Ga., about 75 miles southwest of Columbia.

NBC News reported that Barker, who also starred in MTV reality show "Meet the Barkers", had performed Friday night at an event alongside Perry Farrell, the former Jane's Addiction singer, as well as Gavin DeGraw and Goldstein.

'Terrible and tragic'
It was not clear whether Farrell and DeGraw were also traveling with Barker and Goldstein.

Federal officials confirmed that two crew members and two passengers were killed in the crash.

"It's absolutely terrible and tragic," Columbia Mayor Bob Coble said.

Bergen said the Lear 60 was headed to Van Nuys, California. She was unable to confirm the names of those on board.

Barker and Goldstein perform together under the name TRVSDJ-AM.

AND I'M BACK!!!

Spin Has power and water back! Spin also has a lot of cleaning to do. Because I feel so much better and happier, here's Bob Sinclair's Love Generation:




oh btw....happy pirates day!!

My girls, Tigger and Foo Foo, have been asking for affection a LOT today, I htink because mommy's been a little freaked out the past few days and now am more relaxed and receptive to their request. Poor things, even the dog was stressed by the storm.

Blind Item!

Don't worry, it's not all going to be about hurrican Ike. This is from Lainey:

Star Treatment
How does he roll?

Private plane on someone else’s dime with specific requests about the type of aircraft…like it’s not enough to bypass commercial flying, you need to fly in a particular model. But that’s just the beginning.

He can only travel in matching (like MATCHING!) SUVs with police escort. Three of them. One left empty. And then a sedan. Why the sedan? Because his lower level staff are not allowed to ride in SUVs. They are beneath SUVs. His staff must also stay in a hotel separate from his.

Then there’s eye contact. No eye contact under any circumstances. If his driver happens to have to idle for more than 15 seconds with him in the car – say they’re packing up gear, or waiting for a delivery – the driver must exit the vehicle until the fleet is ready to move.

Speaking to him of course is out of the question. Speaking in his vicinity is even worse. The only voice he wants to hear is his own. You can talk…but only when he gives you permission. There’s actually a hand signal for that. It comes from his manager.

Hotel staff learn this lesson quickly. Imagine asking someone if he wants fresh towels and have him stare back at you, behind sunglasses, not answering, the silence filling up the room like a flood, how small that person must feel, that person who works and busts her ass for minimum wage, not even to be acknowledged, to feel the message from a millionaire that she is not worth engaging? Not even a nod?

If he walks past you in the hall, you must turn your back. If you don’t turn your back he’ll stop walking. His team will stand in a wall around him for fear that you might breathe on him. Worse still, they will harass you. They will intimidate you. They will treat you like a criminal and report you to make sure you are punished.

All of this and more, communicated without shame, without embarrassment, executed as though it’s the most natural way to behave … these are His Rules.

*spin's guess....tom cruise*

Ike update

Man, your perspective sure changes when you get a nice hot shower! I'm starting to think most of the world's problems can be solved if some ppl who never had one just came in and had a hot shower. It makes the world a better place!

Power slowly coming back all around, gas becoming more available.

On a side note, I had a dream last night that I beat the shit out of Kim Kardashian. I felt good when I woke up.


update 9/18: What a tease!!! For maybe an hour last night we had running water!! Enough to fill the bathtubs back up....then just like that, POOF! Water was gone. Still no power. I'm getting a nasty headache from all of this. When I can, I'll try to put up the one picture I took of the huge tree that fell across the street from our house.

IKE WAS A BITCH!!

Hey folks, this is Spin! I am back at work, so that is how I am coming to you!!! won't be able to post much...see, where I am, I am one of many Entergy ppl who lost power and water in the storm! Seems the main power plant was flooded and destroyed so Spin here may not have power or water for a month, maybe 6 weeks since they have to rebuild everything. I am fine, my peeps are fine, our house took no damage, so I can deal. At work, they'll let me use the shower. dunno what will happen when it comes time to do laundry or dishes but I suppose some sort of answer will appear.

Anyhow, just letting all my FAB readers know what's going on, things may be a bit sporadic! Oh yeah, FEMA is back on my good side since they are getting their shit together and getting the PODs up and running.


update 4:05 cdt: my energy company projects that I'll have power back about Sept. 29