Remember Larry Dickhead?

yeah.....it all fits together....he's skipping out on his bill

***

off of TMZ:

Birkhead made a deal with NBC Universal for $1,050,000 to appear on various shows. The initial check to Birkhead was for $865,000. Birkhead says without his consent, Opri deposited the money in her client trust account. Indeed, Birkhead claims he "specifically advised Opri that she was not authorized to take control or possession of any of the funds..." Opri then turned over $200,000, leaving $665,000 in the trust account.

Birkhead, who claims conversion, fraud and legal malpractice, says he repeatedly demanded that Opri release the money but she refused. Birkhead then fired her.

Birkhead's suit then details another TMZ story, that after Opri was fired, she sent him a bill for $620,492.84 for legal services, which included charges for expensive dinners, Opri's publicist, and even her husband's laundry. Birkhead claims many of the charges were for Opri's "personal aggrandizement."

Birkhead further alleges in the suit that "Opri placed her own career desires and needs as a priority over the needs, interests and desires of her own client."

Birkhead also claims Opri represented herself as a specialist in California family law, but says the representation was false and she knew it.

Birkhead is seeking at least $885,000 in damages. He is also asking for punitive damages and rescission of any fee agreements Birkhead claims he signed under fraudulent pretenses.

*Points & Laughs*

This is off of news of the world so take it how you will....but this made me laugh my ass off! And I thought by now that Blohan had already fucked everybody!

***

THESE shocking sick images show the depths of depravity Lindsay Lohan has sunk to in her battle against cocaine addiction.

Taken just weeks before she was admitted to rehab for the second time, the drugs-crazed 20-year-old wild child is captured holding a KNIFE to a friend's throat at a party.

The pal is also pictured sliding another blade down the Mean Girls star's breast... as Lindsay slips her own knife into her mouth in a chilling game.

A source told us: "These photos are very worrying. Lindsay is so out of control. She should not be left within a million miles of a knife. The states Lindsay gets herself into she is lucky to be alive."

Our frightening exclusive pictures were taken four months ago at a house party where Lindsay was publicly claiming she was reformed and sober after her first bout of rehab.

Now she is back in a Malibu clinic after driving her Mercedes into a tree, high on coke and booze. Last night a friend from Lindsay's inner circle revealed how the star's mental state has continued to crumble behind the walls of the Promises clinic in California.

"On the first night she couldn't stop crying. Since then she's refused to follow the rules and keeps having hissy fits about people," says our source.

Among the celebs she blasted were:

PARIS HILTON: "In one of her group meetings she yelled that her friend Paris was a coke whore and couldn't believe how stupid she'd been driving while banned. She said, ‘Paris thinks she's above everyone. She's not. Paris is a stupid cow and deserves what she gets'."

NICOLE RICHIE: Next she scathingly attacked actress Nicole. "She saw a woman who is bulimic and said, ‘She's like Nicole. What problems does Nicole have? The girl just needs to eat. Period'."

CALUM BEST: Our source said Lindsay was devastated after it was revealed her 25-year-old boyfriend had been caught enjoying a drug-fuelled romp with two hookers. Our source said: "Since then she has begun to self-destruct even more. When she was told what he had done with those prostitutes she broke down and cried, ‘I thought he loved me'.

"He still hasn't bothered to get in touch with her. She thought Calum might become her rock but sadly he has just continued his wild ways without her. That's torn her apart."

Lindsay's obsession with bedding famous men is also at the root of her drink and drugs-fuelled madness.

The friend revealed: "She cries all the time at what a mess her life has become and how she has behaved like a complete tart."

It is just a month since the News of the World showed Lindsay being videoed snorting cocaine before bragging: "I'll f*** Jude Law tomorrow."

She bragged about the size of Jude's manhood before claiming she slept with him while he was dating Sienna Miller.

Her friend said: "She just got so carried away with bedding men like Jude and James Blunt she couldn't stop going out.

"She was hooked on pulling those kinds of men and took drugs to give her the confidence to approach them. She needs help to stop her obsession."

The Promises clinic is where singer Britney Spears went earlier this year. Patients have to stay a minimum of 30 days. Our source said Lindsay's family have paid for three guards to be with her in the clinic to make sure she does not escape.

The friend added: "The clinic even took her mobile from her to make sure she can't call people who are a bad influence on her.

"But she went berserk so they gave her a new phone with only the numbers of her family, publicist and agent on it.

"Now her friends just want her to stay in rehab for as long as possible. Only then will she be safe."

Posh hates bloggers!

Maybe in an urgent need for attention because you know, nobody gives a crap about her skeletal, boy-looking ugly mug dragging around over here in the states, Posh had this to say:

Posh calls bloggers 'sad and spineless'

Victoria Beckham has hit out at celebrity bloggers who she says are just weirdoes who know nothing of the real lives of the stars.

'I think these people are pretty spineless, the way they hide behind pseudo-names,' she told Neil Sean on Sky News. 'They don't really know what's going on in anybody's lives. They're just sad people that sit behind their computers.'

***

whatever, bitch. we all know that you just don't feel good enough, that's why you are so skeletal....and that your husband cheats ALL THE TIME.

like this off of holy moly!

mole is used to circulating in football circles, and has first hand evidence of the little secrets that Premiership footballers would rather keep to themselves.

Such as a certain club and country captain who is remarkable shouty with his fists when it comes to the ladies. And a certain ex-captain of his country who uses his bodyguards to approach women to lure back to his room (when his wife isn't watching, naturally).

***

so go eat a steak and STFU robo-tits. We hate you too.

And then there's the jail dodger....

I mean, who doesn't realize that the whole reason she ran to rehab was to stay out of jail? Kind of like when you used to play "Tag" as a kid and you ran for base as fast as you could to avoid being "It".

off of ONTD.com:

Lindsay Lohan won't be attending Sunday's MTV Movie Awards, her publicist confirmed Friday.

The actress, who checked into rehab earlier this week, was one of several celebrity presenters scheduled for the show, which is being broadcast live from the Gibson Amphitheatre in Universal City. Her publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, said in a brief e-mail that she wouldn't be there.

Just days til Pari$ goes to jail!!!

And really, all this bullshit is making me want to hurl. SERIOUSLY! I guess you could always use that bible to whack somebody on the head with....

off of TMZ.com:

Paris Hilton's mom told TMZ cameras that her wayward daughter is "preparing and praying." The June jailbird is clearly trying to find God before she heads to the slammer next week. Big guy up in the sky, show me a sign! Hallelujah!

Paris and a pal attended an evening church service at Bel Air Presbyterian Church, which offers several classes on Tuesday evenings, including an Adult Discipleship class -- the perfect course for a future convict! TMZ spoke to one of the church's Bible Study leaders, who explained, "The bible is the key thing. Without the bible you don't have anything. You get to know who your God is." This might come in handy in jail!

The other Tuesday church group is "The Foundry," for ages 22-35, which according to their site, helps to "Grow them up in the likeness of Christ through small groups, and go out to serve with their gifts and passions." Retail therapy to save the world! Hoorah! Shop for Jesus!

Whichever class Paris attended, she is definitely on the road to scrubbing her sins away! Goodbye perdition, hello probation!

For Ur Lolz!!!

It's the new drinking game!!! Every time Jack Bauer says dammit, you drink!
Ready? GAME ON!

*Points & Laughs*

The crash test dummy got CAUGHT!

Oh this is sooo funny! Like we didn't know!!! Rehab, Schmehab!!! Somebody call White Oprah STAT!!!

off of MSN.com:

Lindsay Lohan Booked on Suspicion of DUI

May 27, 3:12 AM EST

Lindsay Lohan was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence Saturday after her convertible struck a curb, and investigators found what they believe is cocaine at the scene, police said.

Lohan, 20, and two other people were in her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 when it crashed on Sunset Boulevard around 5:30 a.m., Sgt. Mike Foxen said. It appeared the actress was speeding, Lt. Mitch McCann said at an afternoon news conference.

Officers at the scene found a "usable amount" of a drug tentatively identified as cocaine, McCann said. He declined to say where the drug was found other than to say Lohan was not carrying it.

Lohan, who spent time at a rehabilitation center earlier this year, was driven in another car to a hospital for treatment of minor injuries, McCann said. The two other people in her car were not hurt.

Officers received a 911 call about the accident and arrested Lohan at the hospital for investigation of misdemeanor driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, McCann said.
She was released from custody because she was admitted to the hospital, police said.

McCann declined to comment on Lohan's blood-alcohol level. He said the case will be presented to the District Attorney's Office where the actress could face more charges, including felonies. Her tentative arraignment date is Aug. 24.

The crash was Lohan's third accident in about two years. In October 2005, Lohan and a passenger received minor injuries when her convertible hit a van in West Hollywood.

Authorities said the van driver, who also received minor injuries, was at fault.

UPDATE off of TMZ.com (you know they are eating this up like free pie on tuesdays):

Two hours after she left Les Deux, cops responded to a 911 call reporting a one car hit and run and Foothill and Sunset Blvds in Beverly Hills. Cops say Lindsay was driving her Mercedes and lost control and went up on on a curb.

Cops say they arrested her at Century City Hospital where she had been taken by friends after the accident. They're waiting for results of blood tests to determine just what substances she had in her system. One thing the cops do know... more charges could be filed in this case.

Poor Linds. She's in a heap of trouble. Fleeing the scene of an accident, coke allegedly found in her car and a possible DUI- and she's under 21 to boot.

UPDATE off of Splash News Online:

Things for Lindsay Lohan went from bad to worse after her DUI accident but I think the best way to describe her situation now is “f*cked.”

...remember that big 21st birthday party sponsored by Svedka Vodka Lindsay was going to have in Las Vegas? Well, it looks like Svedka, very smartly, has pulled out of sponsoring the party! I guess Lindsay doesn’t fit the description of a responsible drinker and partier.

Final Rinse: WTF? ANYBODY else caught with coke on them is guaranteed a trip straight to jail. Why was this bitch only cited? She needs to go to jail!

off of Bossip:

Two weeks ago, Eve was arrested in Hollyweird for a DUI and went directly to jail. Well, early Saturday morning, Hollyweird coke whore Lindsay Lohan was “cited” for a DUI and for having cocaine in the car. She crashed her whip while coked up, drunk, and angry after getting into a fight with her lesbian lover Samantha Ronson. She was arrested at the hospital and given a get out of jail free card, a citation. DUI and coke and she gets a “ticket”?

The coked up Lohan was caught on video by Splash News running from the scene of the crash, likely getting rid of her coke stash before “one-time” (police) arrived to the scene.

Lock the b*tch up! Click here to read about the historic get out of jail free card she was given.