Saturday, January 20, 2007

*WARNING* Stream of conciousness ahead!

Out of boredom or sometime urge to write, I post the thoughts in my head....which usually turn out to be utter babblings on my part. I love to write, I probably should have gotten my degree in journalism...except that I'd be one of the many thousands of the same and in the same spot I'm in today working in a completely unrelated field. Also, I usually find my own writing to be extremely uninteresting so I can hardly imagine subjecting others to my ramblings. I have found so many others to much more masterful with a turn of phrase.

So what was my point? Did I even have one when I began this and now it has faded off with the seconds it took me to type out the above? Well, in my years of life that I have thus far experienced, I have found a few things constant and true:

You can always count on people to disappoint you. But if you expect little to nothing, then you can't be too disappointed! While this may sound terribly pessimistic, what this should lead you to is a deeper gratification of when someone does come through, a greater appreciation of humanity as a whole and a little less criticism of your own self. We are only human and you can only do what you can. Perfection is very overrated at any rate.

Most people spend most of their time lying to themselves. Think about it...they lie to themselves about their weight, that they will go to the gym, do better on their diets...about getting an education for a better job. These are things that look good on paper to them and maybe really sincerely believe that one day they will do these things but really, it's all a lie that should just be let go of to die. Most people will never do what they build up in their minds. If it were true, they would simply do them instead of making long-winded speeches and excuses. Reality is a bitch but it's worse to lie to yourself, it makes you lie to everyone else when you may as well face what is right in front of you. Then you can really take true action and feel much better about yourself.

Getting older sucks and it's a terrible thing to watch people you love fall to the ravages of becoming elderly and frail. You have to stop and think about your own mortality and what you really want out of life. You can't help but wonder if these are the same things that you are destined to, to lose your mind, to lose touch with the world around you. Can you avoid it or put it off? Is there something you can do or take to keep from being a victim of time yourself? One day we may have all the answers to this....I honestly don't know. All I know that I can do is enjoy while I still can and try to take care of me. That's it.

That's all that I really have out of life at this point, these are the few offerings of my observations and experiences that I can give. Sorry if it seems disappointing or rambling. Actually, I'm not. I now need to go wash some laundry and the haircoloring out. I don't have to look my age, after all.

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