Katie, we need to talk.

I realize accidents happen and shit goes on, hell, I tripped and fell ass backwards into my then-glass coffee table. Now it's wood. But srsly, when shit happens and ppl see bruising, they talk. You know better. You should be slapped for encouraging media and gossip speculation. Why didn't you wear tights or those gawd-awful jeans you have? Are you stupid? Why fuel the machine?

I give you photographic evidence from the Daily Mail: