I would have loved to have seen this.....

From ONTD:

Last night’s star studded charity auction event, benefiting the Los Angeles Children’s Hospital, was nothing short of a miracle on Sunset Blvd. “Make the Difference Network” sponsored the event with all proceeds going to the Children’s hospital.

Justin Timberlake and comedian Kevin James auctioned off items such as: A set of golf clubs autographed by Justin Timberlake, an adventure with a Navy Seal complete with skydiving and shooting guns, and a variety of limited edition sports memorabilia.

The sky was the limit as the auction wasn’t just open to attendees, but also to the world. By innovation of the internet, big screen TVs throughout the venue also allowed the popular auction site “eBay” and it’s millions of members to join in on the bidding.

Hollywood’s elite seemed to have no quam ponying up by responding generously to the call “open your wallets!” That is, up until the last auction item… A date with Jessica Biel.

NOT just ANY date with Jessica Biel, but a all inclusive Hollywood extravaganza complete with dinner, a stroll down the red carpet with Jessica for her upcoming movie premiere and a nightcap with Jessica after the movie’s premiere.

Cue the crickets!…

The bidding suddenly came to a screeching halt. It seemed there was nothing Justin and Kevin could do to motivate the crowd (and the world). Like an offspring of the Grinch and Scrooge, wallets closed quicker than a Venus Fly Trap on a ham sandwich.

Justin’s attempts were futile as he tried to over compensate for the dramatic change in tone of the auction. Justin panicked, “Come on people, this is the one time I’ll let you go out with my girlfriend.” Currently, the bid was at a mere fraction of Benjamins that had been raked in for a pair of skis. With the unknown eBay bidder upping the non-internet bidders 1-0, Justin tried to motivate the crowd by cracking little jokes and busting out some dance moves, but NO ONE in the crowd reacted to the bid.

If that wasn’t cold enough, Jessica was standing there frozen in embarrassment; and there was nothing Justin could do to save her. Justin then pleaded, “Come on don’t let a strange stalker on the internet take my girlfriend on a date!” Before Justin could save face by bidding HIMSELF, a hefty winning bid rang out from a ghost of Christmas past.

Jessica had been saved! But by who? In what seemed to be a paranormal occasion, it was revealed (to Justin’s chagrin) the winning bidder was in fact Jessica’s former high school “friend” who just “happened” to be in attendance.

Justin got his wish, or did he? He may have put the kibosh on the internet geeks and stalkers, but uh-oh, this bid winner was just the opposite: tall, dark, beyond handsome and on a mission. At this point folks, you could cut the tension with a KNIFE. Not only did Justin miss his chance to “do the right thing”, but SOMEHOW allowed his girlfriend to be sold as an indecent proposal.

Blindsided and somewhat befuddled, Justin tried to play the whole thing off as if it were a “Comedy”, but no one was laughing. This was NO Comedy, it was a Romance novel of epic proportion.