She wants her hands deep in Tony's pockets, huh?

from CDAN:



So last night I heard the news I was dreading almost as much as Paris Hilton being knocked up. The level of pain in this one goes more personal though. I can feel the horror unleashing in my body. Also, due to the 99% Paris ban on this site, I could have probably got through 9 months relatively pain free of a Paris pregnancy and I would have been busy waiting for the seven signs of the apocalypse to be fulfilled so that would have been interesting.

The phone call last night was a bunch of me asking, "are you sure?" Wondering aloud if it might be some child she ate as a sacrifice, or the indigestible food from her restaurant creating some kind of Besos Beer Belly. Then I asked if it was Tony's. Apparently it is, and the question was not found amusing. At least she could have got knocked up by Mario Lopez and made this thing more interesting.

Site wise I can get through the Eva Longoria pregnancy because, well it is not like she is on the site everyday. Personally it will be much tougher as the person who told me was so excited that I know it will be 9 months of hearing her friends screaming and happy and just being, well friends. The fact that we share a set of friends will just further add fuel to my misery. I may take up drinking absinthe. Maybe then I could just zone out until sometime during the baby shower, or its graduation from high school.

This is the only time you will hear me say the words, so, enjoy them. Congratulations Eva. Damn, that was harder than passing a kidney stone.

This made me LOL

from IDLYITW:


Let's face it, the Spears family are inbred retards, and just in case you thought Jamie Lynn got pregnant on accident, sorry. Turns out she's just a whore. A source tells Star:

I know for a fact that Casey was not the first guy she slept with -- or the last," says one fellow teen in Kentwood, La. "There were at least two others. I know that 110 percent." Another friend says that before her pregnancy Jamie Lynn partied hard but always in private. "Some people drink to have a good time. But she drank to get wrecked. She drank to get messed up and forget about her mother, her sister and all of that." Just days before announcing her pregnancy in December, Jamie Lynn shocked a boy at a party by asking him for sex. "It's cool, I'm pregnant," she said. "I can't get pregnant again!"

WOW.

Kim K. really does deserve to hang out with the likes of Pari$ite!

off of what would tyler durden do?

Kim Kardashian and her diseased womb walked the red carpet Saturday night at a benefit for the Nicole Brown Foundation, and I'll trust you to use your own creative profanity here, but if it doesn't sound like "selfish" and "attention" and "whore", you should probably start over. Lets do some quick math:

Kim Kardashian is the daughter of Robert Kardashian. Robert Kardashain was the attorney for OJ Simpson, who helped Simpson get away with murder after he came within an inch of chopping off Nicole Browns head.

This is maybe the most selfish thing I've ever seen. The only way it could be any more despicable is if she got Chris Benoit to baby-sit while she went out or she came dressed as a ghost.