Saturday, January 19, 2008

My favoritest thing

My very favorite thing in the whole world, I have come to discover, is old people in bars. They have been thru shit, they have seen it all and at the bar, they are pretty damn funny. Indulge yourself sometime, usually you find them on a Saturday afternoon at a beatup rundown bar. Just go and listen, you won't be disappointed. Here's a few gems that I got from various old folks at a bar, just like getting hammered with your granddad or grandma:

"you know, in Arkansas, that's the only place with a big sign over the door of the justice of the peace saying, even though you're divorced, you're still brother and sister."

"48 years ago, this girl sat crying at the edge of my bed, oh it's too big, it's too big...and i cried at the edge of my bed, it's too big, it's too big."

"This lady I knew who became born again had one of those damned 'my boss is a jewish carpenter' stickers on her car and let everyone know she was all born again.....I saw her at a Wal-Mart parking lot and her car had quit, she couldn't get it to start......I walked by and remarked, "Bet you wish your boss was a mechanic, huh?" she didn't talk to me again for a long time!!"

I love them, I love old people in bars.....they make life worth living! Cuz you know, it's not all bad.....Life is pretty funny if you just look.

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