Saturday, May 3, 2008

Story Time!

So, my dealer and I were at a bar (shock! What do you mean?) and it was crazy enough that this old African American guy decided he had to come over and talk to us, telling us about our zodiac signs were and what they meant and all....I love it when someone thinks they can totally relate and know who you are just because of what your birthdate is.....I mean, I thought that was all over when it was figured out that the earth is not, in fact, flat, nor is it the center of the universe.....anyway, he was quite drunk and eventually started going on about being from another planet called Altreus or some shit. He said that you got there be getting in an aluminum box (a coffin?), going underground and through a tube that shot you into space and there or something.....

My dealer was trying to not laugh, I had my "oh really?" face on and another guy who happened to sit next to us was subjected to this spectacle as well.....I wondered if he was a $citard. It got even funnier! He sighed and sat back saying that he was very tired, having died and been reborn several times, he had been to many different planets and didn't even know which one he was on right now.....Right before he left he asked the barmaid if he was crazy, to which she diplomatically replied that she was no one to judge.

We were about to die laughing after he left, noting that he had stated that at one point he had been on the air as a DJ in Cincinnatti and I said he should have his own radio show, People would tune in just to hear the crazy! My dealer told the barmaid that when the crazy guy asked her if he was crazy, she should have said an clear "yes, you're bat shit nuts." (This is where it gets really crazy). The barmaid, who obviously wasn't hired for her intellectual ability or was very stoned, I'm not sure which, said, "Bats shit nuts? I didn't know bats ate nuts." My dealer and I both looked at her like, whut?

And after having had enough crazy, we left.

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