Good News! Grape Nuts is not a venereal disease!

I saw X-Men Origins:Wolverine Sunday morning. Damn you, Hugh Jackman. Damn you to hell. I didn't want to fall in love with Wolverine but you made me do it, didn't you? I could not escape the great depth of following the story and not being moved to love the wild anarchist of the X-Men.



Honestly, if you're a big fan of Wolverine or are even curious as to how he came to be (sort of, they moved the timeline around from the comic book) then you'll enjoy the story. But if you're down with the X-Men but not that into it, maybe just in it for the movie but never read the comic books, you'll be frightfully bored. You could even skip this movie with no regrets. For someone who is not all about the character, you'd find it tedious and maybe even too melancholy.

I found Gambit to be very disappointing....honestly, with all the money they threw at this project, why didn't they just find a Cajun actor to play him? It would have been very easy to do and a much more presentable, authentic version of my dear, favorite X-Man (along with Nightcrawler). This guy had better do a much better Cajun drawl next film or there's gonna be a riot. I didn't her one "N'awlens" or "shug" or his famous phrase "cher" at all and it pissed me off.

Anyhow, here's a coupla tidbits that I found at ONTD:

Earlier today came official word about an “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” sequel, confirming what Hugh Jackman had already told MTV News about his plans for a follow-up to this weekend’s blockbuster. Now, MTV News has received official word that there is also a “Deadpool” solo movie in active development, with “Wolverine” actor Ryan Reynolds reprising his role as Wade Wilson, Marvel’s mutant assassin.



According to a source close to Fox, the “Deadpool” spin-off film will be produced by Lauren Shuler Donner and Marvel, and will be “a complete exploration of this unique character — his origins, his emergence as the Merc with the Mouth.”

*YAY!!! A DEADPOOL MOVIE!!!*

As you know, Wolverine is rendered an amnesiac at the end of the film, the victim of Stryker's adamantium bullets. It was a plot point that just had to happen in order to explain away why Wolvie wouldn't know about his origins in the original X-Men films.

This point is driven home, much like said adamantium bullets into our hairy Canadian's skull, in the first secret ending. We find Wolverine drinking in a bar after the events of the film -- he's in Japan and speaking Japanese with his bartender who asks him if he's drinking to forget. He replies in English that he's, "Drinking to remember."

Of course, this scene serves a couple of purposes. Not only does it reinforce the amnesia thing, it also sets the stage for the next portion of Wolverine's origin story, which will send him to Japan where, according to the comic books, he falls in love with the character Mariko Yashida. Hugh Jackman has already talked up his interest in telling Wolvie's Japan story, and of course a second Wolverine film was just greenlit this week.

*YAY!!! A WOLVERINE 2!!! but none of these films had better suck as bad as X-Men 3 did.*

*I'm still stoked though! Ryan Reynolds was surprisingly HAWT as Wade. And damm you, Hugh Jackman. Damm you about Wolverine.*

Funniest cartoon EVAH

Magical Maestro by Tex Avery.....it still makes me rofl

Hitched!

Maggie Gyllenhaal is off the market!  From Radaronline:

Hollywood couple Maggie Gyllenhaal andPeter Sarsgaard have finally made it official.

The two New York based actors tied the knot in a small chapel in Brindisi Italy on Saturday.

Maggie's younger brother Jake and his lady love Reese Witherspoon were among the guests at the ceremony.

Gyllenhaal and Sarsgaard have been dating since 2002  and have two-and-a-half-month-old daughter Ramona together.

O Rly? Sit DOWN, Ho

From Radaronline:

She may have a 20-year old model boyfriend on her arm but Miley Cyrus is walking down the road paved by pop stars before her (hello Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson) by publicly vowing to not have sex until she is married.

“I want to keep my virginity until I marry,” she explained to the UK’s Daily Mail. “I was brought up in a Christian family.”

Asked about the Vanity Fair controversy over some Lolita-like photos of her wrapped in nothing but a sheet, Cyrus chalks it up to growing pains: “It's hard growing up in the spotlight and I'm changing. I can't be the 12-year-old who just moved to LA for ever. I'm having a great time doing what I do, but I'm also going to stumble and fall. Having my parents close helps.”

*So to me, this translates as: she's a big whore but the family is keeping it covered up as per the terms of the Disney contract until such time as it gets leaked out after she turns 21. Cuz we've heard this bullshit before. *

So...

Douchebag stepped out with his skank, I guess she needed to air out for a bit....and this is from Janet Charlton's Hollywood:

The REAL Oksana finally stepped out with Mel Gibson and it turns out Oksana Grigorieva, 38, is a professional opera singer signed with Icon - a label supposedly owned by Mel. She is also apparently, a lingerie model. It's rumored that this Oksana is pregnant with Mel's child, and THAT'S what caused Mel's wife Robyn to finally file for divorce. Oksana already has an 11 year old son with Timothy Dalton.

*I wouldn't be surprised for a second is she is. I hope his genitals shrivel up. BTW, doesn't she sorta resemble the craziness that is Octomom?*

Wut? O.o

Um, congrats! I'm really caught off guard with this! Little Pony Parker is passing her genetic material again? I guess Matthew didn't have to touch her hooha this way.

By LYNN ELBER – 31 minutes ago

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Representatives for Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick say the couple is expecting the birth of twin daughters this summer through a surrogate pregnancy.

The "Sex and the City" star and her actor husband are "overjoyed," according to their publicists.

The couple has a son.

Copyright © 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Bad News for the Spears family

This is a bad thing to happen to anyone.....I hope that everything turns out alright. From Radaronline:

RadarOnline.com has confirmed that Casey Aldridge, the father of Jamie Lynn-Spears' 8-month-old daughter, is in a Jackson, Mississippi hospital after a bad car wreck last night. Jamie Lynn is at his side, a source tells us.

Aldridge was driving home from a fishing trip in Amite County, MS when he wrecked his Ford F150 with two male pals in the car, one of whom broke his collar bone. The source adds that Casey has a hematoma and doctors fear he has a blood clot in his brain. He may be heading into surgery, a source tells RadarOnline.com.

Aldridge, 20, is a Louisiana native and longtime boyfriend of Britney Spears' younger sister. Story Developing...

update from TMZ:

We've learned Casey Aldridge was charged with careless operation of a motor vehicle (a misdemeanor) after this morning's crash -- and no other car was involved.

Casey Aldridge could have been screwed, but got real lucky -- he's going to recover from this morning's car accident.

We just spoke with a close family member/Baptist preacher who says Aldridge did NOT have surgery, but did suffer mild brain trauma.

As we first reported, Casey and 3 other passengers were in a single car accident early this morning in Louisiana.

His F-250 flipped over and Aldridge was airlifted for treatment.

The family member said Aldridge suffered a skull fracture around his hairline and will be kept at the University of Mississippi Medical Center for 2-3 days for observation.

Jamie Lynn Spears is at his bedside.

NOOO!!!! Maude died!

LOS ANGELES—Beatrice Arthur, the tall, deep-voiced actress whose razor-sharp delivery of comedy lines made her a TV star in the hit shows "Maude" and "The Golden Girls" and who won a Tony Award for the musical "Mame," has died. She was 86.

She died peacefully at her Los Angeles home early Saturday with her family at her side, family spokesman Dan Watt said. She would have been 87 on May 13.

Arthur had cancer, Watt said, declining to give further details.

"She was a brilliant and witty woman," said Watt, who was Arthur's personal assistant for six years. "Bea will always have a special place in my heart."

Arthur is survived by her sons, Mathew and Daniel, and two granddaughters, Kyra and Violet. No funeral services are planned.

*Bea shall always have a special place in all our hearts.  Thank you for all your years of talent. You were so FIERCE and made an awesome Femputer.*

Blind Item!

This one is for you, Kermit the master of weiner!!

EOnline - HN Nick is the hottest star, both bod-wise and at the box office. His wife’s figure and professional goings-on aren’t too shabby, either, as both Mr. and Mrs. Nick enjoy fame and fortune regularly up on the big screen—though his paychecks dwarf hers, big-time.

Yep, everything’s pretty cozy Chez Nick, even the bisexual couple’s agreement to have lovers outside the marriage. Instead of his-and-hers towels, they have his-and-hers sex partners!

And you guessed it, there’s a girl for Mrs. Nick and…

A boy for Mr. Nick! And like the smart have-it-all couple they are, the Nicks chose other famous people to be their closeted lovers. Too crafty! Only problem being Hard-Nipple’s boyfriend is married to an established actress who’s growing increasingly peeved over the clandestine arrangement.

“He’s starting to go out and fly him with him everywhere,” a good friend to the Nicks told yours truly about Hard-Nipple Nick taking the BF a few too many places as of late. “They’re turning up everywhere together, and [the boyfriend's wife] is getting really pissed about it. It’s going too far. It’s only a matter of time before she spills.”

Guess all those pricey little gifties to the wife for borrowing her hubby aren’t as attractive as they once were?

Must say I’m a tad surprised to hear this latest development, as HNN’s always been one of the best in the Biz about keeping his preferred love life on the down-low. And now that it’s flyin’ high, guess a tabloid revelation is only seconds away from takeoff!

And It Ain’t: John Travolta, David Beckham, Jerry O’Connell

*Spin's guesses: Will & Jada, Tommygurl & Katie (the one who is tired of it and might blab)*

It's a Beyonce post

from digital spy:

Beyoncé has reportedly revealed that she wants to start a family and settle down within the next few years.

The 27-year-old, who married hip-hop star Jay-Z last April, is currently appearing as a wife who tackles her husband's stalker in the film Obsessed.

The former Destiny's Child singer said that her dream of the future will include working on the stage and having a more everyday routine, according to Reuters.

"I'll be able to go to the theatre every day and drop my kids off and maybe make some food - maybe I'll know how to cook by then - and then go do what I love and have some normalcy and have a regular schedule," she said. "I definitely want to do Broadway."

Beyoncé recently spoke of the responsibility that comes with her high-profile career, describing the influence she has over young fans as "scary".

Wasn't this a Blind Item?

you know, the one where the wife can't change her haircolor or style for fear the hubs will seek out drag queens looking like her blond self....well, this seems answered from digital spy:

Gavin Rossdale enjoyed a five-year relationship with another man, according to reports.

The Bush singer, who has been married to Gwen Stefani for seven years, allegedly had a love affair with pop singer Peter Robinson, who recorded under the name Marilyn.

According to Entertainment Wise, Robinson claimed that the star "was the love of my life".

"He was just becoming successful in America. I agreed to lie against every grain of my being," he said.

"We were together five years. But it felt like 40."

Boy George previously claimed that the pair were an item in his 1995 autobiography Take It Like A Man.

HOT BLIND ITEM!!!!

from Blindgossip!!!  Could it be?

This celebrity couple's pre-nuptial agreement required the wife to stay in the relationship for a certain amount of time. However, the Stepford Wife's law firm has decided that it may be difficult to impossible for the husband to enforce this. It seems that the wife knows much more than she should about the husband's long-time and very personal relationship with another high-profile man. She is using that knowledge to get her sentence reduced and to to gain custody over the couple's kid/s.

It's still not Nicole Kidman

O Rly?

judge for yourself!  from digital spy:

John Mayer has revealed that he has stopped smoking marijuana.

The singer-songwriter announced his decision to stop using the drug on his Twitter profile.

Mayer wrote: "I don't smoke pot anymore. I just pay a dude 50 bucks to come over, press lightly on my chest and tell me all my ideas are awesome.

"Any time I feel like smoking pot I just book myself a life insurance exam."

*Don't know if I believe him!*

Buzz Killington

Sorry to piss on your crunchy buzz.....seeing as it is 4/20 and all....but just a reminder to all who want pot legalized; it may not be the cure all answer to society's ills.  Let's look at the Netherlands, who outlawed it not long ago and are in the process of reducing the coffeshops that sold the stuff:

as of July 1, 2008

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - This city's famed marijuana bars have weathered many challenges over the years and are still smoking. But now they face an unwelcome blast of fresh air: On July 1, the Netherlands will be one of the last European countries to ban smoking in bars and restaurants in compliance with EU law.

The Health Ministry says the ban will apply to cafes that sell marijuana, known as coffee shops. But this being Holland, which for centuries has experimented with social liberalism, there's a loophole: The ban covers tobacco but not marijuana, which is technically illegal anyway.

But that still leaves coffee shops and their customers in a bind. Dutch and other European marijuana users traditionally smoke pot in fat, cone-shaped joints mixed with tobacco.

Marijuana possession is illegal in the Netherlands, but smokers are not prosecuted for holding up to 5 grams. Around 750 cafes — half of them in Amsterdam — are licensed to have up to 500 grams in stock at any one time.The Dutch government, currently led by a conservative coalition with a religious bent, is slowly squeezing back the number of coffee shops by not renewing licenses when shops close.

Growers are arrested, leaving coffee shop owners struggling to obtain their main product.

*remember kids, a gram weighs the same as a dime....so five dimes= the amount of pot you may legally possess in the Netherlands.  I also understand that they have had a lot of problems with mafia-like gangs controlling distribution to shops, almost putting a chokehold on the pot biz over there.*

Oh Ha-yell No

Wino, in my opinion, is NOT ready for raising a child.  Somebody slap the baby fever out of her quick.  On the other side though, I supposed she's used to being covered in puke and body fluids....you know, BLAAAAAAKE and all.

Amy Winehouse reportedly wants to adopt a child in her new-found Caribbean home,considering herself as the "Angelina Jolie of St. Lucia".

The 25-year-old singer is already thinking about making a permanent move to the resortand apparently wants to help underprivileged children.

An insider told the Daily Mail: "Amy is seriously thinking about adopting but she is aware it’s going to be incredibly difficult with her background."

A spokesman for the star said that Winehouse had been talking in the context of setting up some kind of music and education-based project to help the underprivileged.

Wish me luck!

No posts on Friday, sorry!  I have an appointment that's gonna take me all day...basically, I'm getting my ass knocked out and won't even be able to drive, good times!  So I'm leaving you with Weezer's Troublemaker:

Tragic news for Katie Holmes

Poor girl must be in shock.  From Radaronline.com:

Tragedy has struck Katie Holmes' family.

RadarOnline.com has learned that Katie's brother-in-law died suddenly at age 48.Joseph Jeffrey Fretti, 48, was found dead by a family friend on April 12 in the Sarasota, Fl., home of his mother Shirley.

Fretti is the husband of Katie's oldest sister Tamera, 41. Katie has two other older sisters.

Jeff Fretti was the owner of a funeral home in Toledo, Ohio. He had taken his two young children to visit his 76-year-old mother.

Sarasota Medical Examiner Russell Vega told RadarOnline.com that a cause of death has yet to be determined but doesn't suspect foul play or suicide.

A funeral Mass for Fretti is scheduled at Gesu Church in Toledo next Monday. Katie is expected to attend the service for her brother-in-law. It is not known if husband Tom Cruise will also attend.

Lilo has a sense of humor!

check out her fauxharmony ad:

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

BLIND ITEM!!!

from blindgossip.com:

BlindGossip - This Stepford Wife is close to splitting from her husband. She has actually consulted with several high-profile divorce lawyers on both coasts. The main issue here seems to be custody of their kid/s, whom the husband is intent on keeping. Thankfully, she’s gotten her parents involved, even though she had distanced herself from them over the past few years.

No It’s Not: Nicole Kidman.

*OMG OMG OMG PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE say it's KatEBot Holmes!!!*

I'm all giddy with hopeful excitment!




Also...who could this be:

CDAN - This C list actress and reality star with A list name recognition has been married for a little while to this celebutard. She might be finally catching on to the fact he is only after her money. How so? He wants her to foot the bill for a brand new $500K recording studio at their house.

*Has Ashley Simpson ever tried to act?*

She finally got fed up!

from yahoo news:

LOS ANGELES - Court records show Mel Gibson's wife has filed for divorce after 28 years of marriage.

Robyn Gibson filed the petition in Los Angeles , citing irreconcilable differences .

The petition doesn't give any details about the split. Robyn Gibson is seeking jewelry and some other property, and has suggested joint custody for their 9-year-old son.

The records show that the couple were married in June 1980.

*Stay tuned, there has to be another famous Mel drinking binge brewing*

Anti Breezy song!

Just heard this while in San Antonio and wanted to share! CHRIS BROWN SHOULD GET HIS ASS KICKED! Name of the song is "My flow so Tight"



check it out:
www.jumpsmokers.com This track is worth paying for, proceeds go to women's shelters to combat domestic violence. Find it on iTunes.

http://twitter.com/jumpsmokers

BACK from San Antonio

It was relaxing and nice to see the nephew graduate from Air Force boot training! The family reminded me of why I moved away! Go to San Antonio and be sure to do two things: go see the Alamo and do the Riverwalk. I feel a bit lied to though, you see pics and hear the stories and watch movies of the Alamo and think that it sits in a lonely part of the desert with only dusty sand and wind whipping around it. This is not the case. It is very lush and green, lots of plants and trees growing around and it sits in the middle of a plaza surronded by cheap, trashy tourist shops and a few nice shops. But it is not in the middle of nowhere.

What did I learn about the Air Force? It seems they have weight restrictions now for boots. I don't understand because what if iwth your running and working out and lifting weights you gain muscle weight? Anyhow, what I learned was that they don't want excess weight on their Airmen so I have a new motto for the Air Force:

USAF: No boundaries, no fatties.

Here, have a kick in the penis:

In case you didn't hear...

Britney walked off the stage in Vancouver last night because of all the weed haze going on, for about half an hour. Here's Radar, right before the Britout..you can see where she gets pissed and quits dancing. Remember, this is NEW Brit, old Brit is gone.



It's kind of ironic, she can't have fun anymore so no one else can either. Word is she fired two dancers at the start of the tour for drugs. Plus, she gets to tell the world that her pussy is hanging out and that's ok.

New York (Tiffany Pollard) wants you!

Follow her gloriousness on Twitter: TIF NY POLLARD

DO IT!

She'll follow u back

Crabbe grass!!!

Ok you Harry Potter freaks....this is for you from the Sun online:

A teenage star of the Harry Potter films has been arrested after cops found a cannabis farm worth more than $2,900 in his bedroom.

Drug squad officers swooped on 19-year-old Jamie Waylett — famed as bullying Hogwarts School pupil Vincent Crabbe in the wizard movies — after a tip-off.

Police first stopped him in an Audi car and discovered eight bags of pot inside the vehicle.
Waylett and a pal in the vehicle, also 19, were held at the scene on suspicion of possession.

Cops then raided the home the actor shares with his mom Theresa, two brothers and a sister — and seized ten mature cannabis plants valued at about $2,900.

The plants were growing under powerful hydroponic lights beside the actor’s DJ decks and a PlayStation.

Waylett was further arrested on suspicion of production of a Class B drug.

*Seems he likes the columbian marching powder too, from Entertainment wise.com:*

Pictures of a Harry Potter actor taking cocaine have been published in the UK tabloid People.

Jamie Wylatt, 17 plays the role of bully Vincent Crabbe in the successful film franchise; a so called ?friend? of the actor sold the pictures to the newspaper and has claimed the actor?s drug use is spiraling out of control.

He said: "Jamie is spiraling out of control. He takes cocaine almost every time I see him, whether it's at a party at a friend's house or at his own home. He's always chopping out a line.

"I think he uses it to be accepted by people. But with cocaine he's attracting the wrong sort of crowd. Jamie is wild. He told me that he got high at the premiere of the last film, Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire.

"He said he had about eight grams of cocaine and was 'high as a kite' after sneaking off to the toilets to take it."

This is a really BAD idea...

I understand about capitalizing on situations and a bad economy is no different....but backstabbing at work and on reality shows is bad enough. You're talking about ppl's livelihood here....from fox news:


NEW YORK – The Fox network is making a reality show out of the troubled economy. An upcoming series titled, "Someone's Gotta Go," lets employees of a small business decide which one of their colleagues will be laid off.

Fox says it has no air date yet for the series, which is being developed by the company behind "Big Brother" and "Deal or No Deal." Each week, a different company lays off an employee.

Fox also wouldn't reveal the show's host, which it says is a business consultant who will offer advice to participating companies.

Feminem...I mean Eminem's back...

Here's his new video, I guess he wants attention.  "We Made You" Star Trek geeks made jizz in their pants. Who am I kidding, I'd hit it.

Eminem - New Music - More Music Videos

Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay

It was only a matter of time before Sam sought out some strange.  You have to understand that she needed to get away from the crazy, a different dose, a touch of something different.  We all know you're going back to the dick anyway.  From digital spy:

Lindsay Lohan is reported to have posted a string of Twitter messages accusing her girlfriend Samantha Ronson of cheating.

According to MTV News, the Mean Girls star used her blog to accuse Ronson of being unfaithful and "breaking my heart".

One message directed at her lover read: "Please leave me alone and stop staying in the room below me. You've woken me and my mother up. Go to bed. Keep cheating, you win."

She later added: "I'm doing this publicly because you and your friends call Peoplemagazine... so, you win. You broke my heart. Now go away. I loved you."

However, E! News claimed that the couple are still in a relationship after they were spotted together at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles on Friday night.

*and*

Lindsay Lohan has revealed that she is "taking a brief break" from her romance with Samantha Ronson.

Speaking to E! News, the Mean Girls actress confirmed speculation that the couple have decided to part ways amid rumours that Ronson had been caught cheating.

"We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself," said Lohan, who declined to give any more information.

Earlier, it was reported that Lohan had posted a string of messages on her Twitter account accusing her partner of being unfaithful. The 22-year-old is also thought to have been denied entry to a Ronson family party on Friday evening.

I may puke...

Does the Mighty Virus really understand the song Imagine by John Lennon?  Has she truly listened to it?  I don't think she really gets it or it's atheist theme.  I hope Yoko stomps all over her face for recording a cover of it.  Miley is not worthy.

Teen superstar MILEY CYRUS has recorded a cover version of JOHN LENNON peace anthem IMAGINE.

The 16-year-old hit the studio for a duet with her Hannah Montana: The Movie co-star Emily Osment after the pair bonded on the set of the film, through their love of the late Beatles legend.

Cyrus tells Moviefone.com, "I'm just a huge John Lennon fan. I studied him in school, and just watched the movie Chapter 27 (which depicts his murder).

"We (Cyrus and Emily Osment) did a duet of Imagine, in the studio."
Cyrus doesn't reveal if the duet will ever be released - but she insists fans shouldn't be surprised by her eclectic musical taste.

She adds, "I don't think the music you produce has to be the the music you listen to. I like singing pop music, and I like dancing. And you can't really dance a lot to rock and roll. I like Nirvana. I really like Radiohead. I really love the Beatles."

*What did she study about John Lenon in school?  The he was a Beatle and wore glasses?  Stupid Stupid little girl.*

Mel B shows off

and I think it's safe to say that she didn't have a C-section.  She's performing "Peep Show" at the Planet Hollywood Hotel at Las Vegas.  What do you think?

Blind Item!

CDAN - This former A/B list movie and television actor is driving producers crazy with demands on the set of his new movie. It seems that our actor has some very odd spiritual beliefs and he is willing to only shoot during certain hours of the day because to do otherwise will harm his soul. I think he has smoked way too much pot.

*Spin's guess: Woody Harrelson*

Finger update!

I know, big deal....but it's been a damm long week.....I thought Wednesday was Friday, imagine my disappointment that there were still two more days to struggle through....then to find out that my job will end shortly!

Anyhow, first it looked like frankenfinger:

now it's healed better but it looks like vag finger:

But at least I still have a finger!  Damm cats better appreciate!

Zen for the day

Oh, Britney....

You know it's just not gonna happen.  Behave yourself now, m'kay?

from digital spy:

Britney Spears has reportedly asked to have her father removed as conservator of her estate.

The singer allegedly left a voice message with lawyers claiming that Jamie Spears had threatened to take her children away from her.

A recording, in which the female voice identifies herself as "Britney Spears", has appeared online and is said to have been made on January 21.

"Hi, my name's Britney Spears. I called you earlier," she says.

"I'm calling again because I just wanted to make sure that during the process of eliminating the conservatorship, my father has threatened me several times that, you know, he'll take my children away.

"I just want to be guaranteed that everything will be fine with the process and that you guys are taking care of everything, that things will stay the same as far as my custodial time. That's it. Bye."

Jamie Spears was given conservatorship last year after the 'Circus' singer was hospitalised when it became apparent that her mental health was deteriorating.

*oh and Britney performed here in Houston last night....according to Hit 95.7 radio here, no one really thought the show was terrible but OLD Brit Brit is definitely gone.  This is all brand new and different Britney performing.*

In WTF? News....

You know the Sham-Wow guy?  Every time I see him on TV, I want to punch him in the face.  Not the tv, I want to hunt him down and punch him personally.  It seems he got arrested.  For beating up a hooker.  Who tried to bite his tongue off.  you can't make that shit up.

According to the Smoking Gun, the police report goes like this:

• Shlomi meets Sasha Harris in a Miami club. They go back to his hotel.
• She propositions him for "straight sex." He pays her a thousand bucks in cash.
• He kisses her.
• She "bit his tongue and would not let go."
• He punches her in her face repeatedly until she lets go.
• He runs down to the hotel lobby.
• They both get arrested.

Makes me think of this Van Halen song:

A Tribute...

RuPaul's Drag Race has ended with BeBe Zahara Benet being crowned as the new Drag Superstar.  I loved this show so much and had so much fun watching, I just want to highlight a few of the contestants doin' what they do.  I'll start with BeBe:

Followed by Nina Flowers, who was so fab and I love her!

Shanel, the Vegas showgirl who was so snotty but it was so GRAND!  

She truly desrved to be the Superstar but since she left, I shall dub her as the First Lady of Drag.

Who can forget Ongina, who should have won this competition....

here she performs Britney Spears' Circus and out-Brits Brit!

Enjoy the performances!

Remember Alfie, the 13 year old father?

Guess what, the baby isn't his! Poor guy. And it seems his youth and innocence were taken advantage of by being lied to.

From jezebel:

This case just keeps getting sadder and sadder: DNA tests have revealed that Alfie Patten, famous 13-year-old father, is not actually the baby's father.

The Mirror reports that Alfie is not the father of seven-week-old girl Maisie Roxanne. Chantelle Stedman, the girl's mother, became pregnant at the ridiculously young age of 14. Chantelle has apparently said it was her mother's idea to lie and tell the press (and Alfie) that she was a virgin when she slept with Alfie. Before taking the paternity test, Alfie defended Chantelle, saying: "I don't really care what people say. And I don't like them being bad about Chantelle." S

o far there is no news on Alfie's reaction to the DNA tests. We can only hope that this news does not stop Maisie from getting the love and care she needs or lead to further slut-shaming of the 15-year-old mother. [Mirror]

*Frankly, I think slut shaming, especially publicly, is totally in order. The dumb girl brought it out to public, so guess what...*

THIS IS WHAT LILO LOOKS LIKE THESE DAYS

Let me repeat...THIS IS WHAT LINDSAY LOHAN LOOKS LIKE THESE DAYS. Cokewhore much?

from ONTD:

Fans waiting to see Lindsay Lohan’s latest movie won’t have to leave their living rooms.

Lindsay’s new film, “Labor Pains,” will not be released in theaters, Access Hollywood has learned.

Instead, the comedy will premiere on ABC Family, a source for the film’s production company, Nu Image/Millennium Films, confirmed to Access.

The movie will debut on the cable channel in July 2009, with a DVD release coming in August.

In the film, which wrapped production in August 2008, Lindsay plays a woman who fakes being pregnant to save herself from being fired and is then forced to keep the lie going for nine months.

However, the source did say the movie would hit theaters internationally. No release date was available.

Tweerpeez....

for all of us Twitter users, prolific or not, or even if you don't use it. Enjoy.

Bruce Willis marries again!

Good for him! I have no snark, I just hope for his and his new wife's happiness. From radaronline:

With ex-wife Demi Moore and her husband Ashton Kutcher present, Bruce Willis married Emma Heming on Saturday. In fact, it was so much fun Bruce is going to do it again, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

Bruce and Emma had a wedding ceremony on Parrot Cay on the Turks and Caicos Islands where Willis has a home. When they return to the U.S. they will take out a wedding license and have a civil ceremony, RadarOnline.com is reporting exclusively.

Proving he has one of the most civilized divorces in Hollywood, the Die Hard star had his first wedding ceremony Saturday with Demi and Ashton in attendance.

Bruce is 54, his new wife 32.

and from E! online:

Bruce Willis walked down the aisle with his girlfriend, Emma Heming, on Saturday at his home in the Turks and Caicos islands, E! News has confirmed.

the Stanky Legg

My understanding is that this is a new trend thang outta here in Houston. On behalf of the state of Texas and the city of Houston, I am really, really sorry. But think of the entertainment value of watching this crap.



Ciara splains (gotta houston it up) to Snoop Dogg:

Down for a day or two

Am not able to really blog right now, here's why:





I sliced my hand open this a.m. with a pull tab can of cat food. Hope those spoiled beasts appreciate their breakfast! Had to get 5 stitches, bitch cut deep. I just need a day or two for things to knit back up.

Because it's about dead anyway

I KNOW it's wrong but it still made me laugh....Here's a compilation of Shoot Da Whoop for you. Offended? Don't watch. Blame the intertubes for a boring gossip day.

Single?

I have a chance? I mean, er, trouble at home for Marky Mark? From a socialite's life:

Last we heard, Mark and his girlfriend Rhea Durham were planning an August wedding but now it's rumored that Mark has moved out of the family home and has been living in hotels.

*He can come stay with me*

The saddest news

NEW YORK – Natasha Richardson, a gifted and precocious heiress to acting royalty whose career highlights included the film "Patty Hearst" and a Tony-winning performance in a stage revival of "Cabaret," died Wednesday at age 45 after suffering a head injury from a skiing accident.

Alan Nierob, the Los Angeles-based publicist for Richardson's husband Liam Neeson, confirmed her death in a written statement.

"Liam Neeson, his sons (Micheal and Daniel), and the entire family are shocked and devastated by the tragic death of their beloved Natasha," the statement said. "They are profoundly grateful for the support, love and prayers of everyone, and ask for privacy during this very difficult time."

The statement did not give details on the cause of death for Richardson, who suffered a head injury when she fell on a beginner's trail during a private ski lesson at the luxury Mont Tremblant ski resort in Quebec. She was hospitalized Tuesday in Montreal and later flown to a hospital in New York.

Family members had been seen coming and going from the New York hospital where Richardson was taken.

Vanessa Redgrave, Richardson's mother, arrived in a car with darkened windows and was taken through a garage when she arrived at the Lenox Hill Hospital on Manhattan's Upper East Side about 5 p.m. Wednesday. An hour earlier, Richardson's sister, Joely, arrived alone and was swarmed by the media as she entered through the back of the hospital.

No they aren't!

E! news is reporting that the rumored duet between RiRi and Chris 'dogshit' Brown is not NOT going to happen, it's just a rumor.

Must have been something leaked by Brown's camp.

MediaTakeOut is reporting that Rihanna has in fact, officially dumped Chris Brown.

Jenna Jameson has a Double

Twin boys that is. She gave birth! It's a good thing she didn't have twin girls....think of the impact on the porn industry! Now all she has to do is teach them how to be producers. From msnbc.com:

Porn star Jenna Jameson gave birth to twin sons Monday morning, according to US magazine. Mixed martial arts fighter Tito Ortiz, Jameson's boyfriend of two years, is the babies' father.

“She's very excited to be a mom,” a source told the magazine. “She's been taking it easy and even had to be in a wheelchair during one of Tito's events in Las Vegas.”

According to US magazine, Jameson suffered a miscarriage in 2004 after being diagnosed with malignant melanoma.

brought to you by this bunny:

SCARJO as the BLACK WIDOW

Iron Man 2 is sounding like it almost might be better than the first!! the Black Widow is absolutly awesome and ScarJo playing her will be full of WIN! from E!online news:

Scarlett Johansson is joining the superhero set.

Her rep confirms that the actress has signed on to play Black Widow in the Iron Man sequel opposite Robert Downey Jr. The deal was signed this afternoon.

"Scarlett is thrilled to be a part of Iron Man," her rep, Marcel Pariseau, tells me.

*oh yeah, if anyone cares:*

The Wrestler's comeback kid, Mickey Rourke, has finally sealed a deal to play villain Whiplash, according to Variety.

*I AM STOKED!*

Blind Item!!!

BuzzFoto - This actor has long been a target of speculation about his sexuality. Although he’s had several girlfriends, everyone is generally convinced he is G-A-Y! We have some information that makes us sure that he isn’t. He is indeed very straight. But perhaps his girlfriend should be less concerned about being in public to make him appear straight and pay better attention to his phone bills and who he’s calling for a little kinky conversation. He’s not calling men, if that’s what you’re thinking.

It’s not Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen.

Spin's guess: Toothy Tile.....I mean, Jake Gyllenhaal

Family Guy in trouble again!

I should really watch it more...altho....I do love you so, Seth MacFarlane! We should make babies!! from the live feed:

The Parents Television Council is filing an indecency complaint with the Federal Communications Commission against Fox's "Family Guy" for a March 8 episode that included -- and this is from the press release -- "bestiality, orgies and babies eating sperm."

Since there's nothing hotter than PTC president Tim Winter talking about graphic TV content, let's get right to his quote:

"Fox treated viewers to everything from an ‘eleven-way’ gay orgy to baby Stewie eating a bowl of cereal with horse sperm instead of milk ... if that isn’t enough, the show’s leading character is also shown fanaticizing about his wife and moaning while a horse licks his bare behind. Clearly, the explicit content was not isolated to one instance in one segment of the show; it permeated the entire program."

I know. I can't believe I missed "Family Guy" last week either.

And presumably Winter meant "fantasizing" not "fanaticizing," the latter meaning "to cause to become fanatic."

The PTC is urging its purported 1.3 million members to file FCC complaints against "Family Guy" as well. The organization has a history of taking issue with the show's content and series creator Seth MacFarlane was asked about the PTC last year:

"Oh, yeah. That’s like getting hate mail from Hitler. They’re literally terrible human beings. I’ve read their newsletter, I’ve visited their website, and they’re just rotten to the core. For an organization that prides itself on Christian values — I mean, I’m an atheist, so what do I know? — they spend their entire day hating people. They can all suck my d**k as far as I’m concerned."

Diddy on Ellen

Frankly, Puffy, P Diddy, Piddly Diddly, whatever he calls himself these days, is a douche. Ellen asks him what's up with loaning his house to Chrianna. Also, if a friend hits somebody, you have just been given a 'FREE TO JUDGE' pass, Twitter or not.

PHUCK these ppl and their bbs. I can't even get out 1

Katie Holmes may be coming to the end of her Purification Rundown diet, but it seems she isn’t stopping there with her commitment to Scientology. I can reveal that the 30-year-old actress resolves problems with her husband Tom Cruise by making weekly written confessions, as laid out in the Scientology code.

‘Katie has to confess to something as minor as forgetting to tell him she has met with a friend,’ says a source. ‘If she commits a transgression against the moral code of their marriage, she has to tell Tom in writing, giving full details of the time and place and what happened.’

Katie is currently filming The Extra Man in New York but will return to Los Angeles in May to try for her second child.

Daddy?

The skeleton of a supposed vampire has been exhumed on Lazzaretto Nuovo Island in Venice.

It was found by Matteo Borrini of the University of Florence, who was excavating the mass graves of plague victims from the Middle Ages.

The skeleton was buried with a brick in its mouth, believed to be an ancient method of preventing plague-spreading "vampires" from passing on disease by chewing their shrouds.

Dr Borrini said: "This idea probably originated from the dribble of blood that often came from the mouths of plague victims when they died."

Peer Moore-Jansen of Wichita State University told New Scientist that while the discovery was exciting, he had found similar skeletons in Poland.

*from digital spy*

Wow...

It's amazing that the C of $ hasn't tried to sink their claws into this huge charitable opportunity....there's an entire army of children to be brainwashed right here and OctoMom could enjoy free publicity and readily available, around the clock stand in parents. Win win for the losers all around.

"This Woman Is Nuts": Octomom Births 2nd Ex Flack
Today 8:30 AM PDT by Jefferson Reid
Thompsett, Wordley, PacificCoastNews.com

They say any publicity is good publicity. But at this point, Octomom Nadya Suleman may be thinking any publicist is a good publicist. That's because she just had a second one quit on her, according to Us magazine.

Victor Munoz tells the mag's online outlet that he quit working for the Octuplet Mom Friday night, saying, "This woman is nuts...What ultimately destroyed the business arrangement was personal reasons."

He also says, "It just got to be too much. It's pretty much a free for all over there right now. They are freaking out right now."

The Octopulet mom's first publicist reportedly quit due to death threats, but Munoz apparently found the working environment to be be the real job killer.

"Not to sound arrogant, but those people depended on me for everything. You have no idea what I’ve had to do for these people."

*Brought to you by RDJ staring at you in the airport:*