Down for a day or two

Am not able to really blog right now, here's why:





I sliced my hand open this a.m. with a pull tab can of cat food. Hope those spoiled beasts appreciate their breakfast! Had to get 5 stitches, bitch cut deep. I just need a day or two for things to knit back up.

Because it's about dead anyway

I KNOW it's wrong but it still made me laugh....Here's a compilation of Shoot Da Whoop for you. Offended? Don't watch. Blame the intertubes for a boring gossip day.

Single?

I have a chance? I mean, er, trouble at home for Marky Mark? From a socialite's life:

Last we heard, Mark and his girlfriend Rhea Durham were planning an August wedding but now it's rumored that Mark has moved out of the family home and has been living in hotels.

*He can come stay with me*

The saddest news

NEW YORK – Natasha Richardson, a gifted and precocious heiress to acting royalty whose career highlights included the film "Patty Hearst" and a Tony-winning performance in a stage revival of "Cabaret," died Wednesday at age 45 after suffering a head injury from a skiing accident.

Alan Nierob, the Los Angeles-based publicist for Richardson's husband Liam Neeson, confirmed her death in a written statement.

"Liam Neeson, his sons (Micheal and Daniel), and the entire family are shocked and devastated by the tragic death of their beloved Natasha," the statement said. "They are profoundly grateful for the support, love and prayers of everyone, and ask for privacy during this very difficult time."

The statement did not give details on the cause of death for Richardson, who suffered a head injury when she fell on a beginner's trail during a private ski lesson at the luxury Mont Tremblant ski resort in Quebec. She was hospitalized Tuesday in Montreal and later flown to a hospital in New York.

Family members had been seen coming and going from the New York hospital where Richardson was taken.

Vanessa Redgrave, Richardson's mother, arrived in a car with darkened windows and was taken through a garage when she arrived at the Lenox Hill Hospital on Manhattan's Upper East Side about 5 p.m. Wednesday. An hour earlier, Richardson's sister, Joely, arrived alone and was swarmed by the media as she entered through the back of the hospital.

No they aren't!

E! news is reporting that the rumored duet between RiRi and Chris 'dogshit' Brown is not NOT going to happen, it's just a rumor.

Must have been something leaked by Brown's camp.

MediaTakeOut is reporting that Rihanna has in fact, officially dumped Chris Brown.

Jenna Jameson has a Double

Twin boys that is. She gave birth! It's a good thing she didn't have twin girls....think of the impact on the porn industry! Now all she has to do is teach them how to be producers. From msnbc.com:

Porn star Jenna Jameson gave birth to twin sons Monday morning, according to US magazine. Mixed martial arts fighter Tito Ortiz, Jameson's boyfriend of two years, is the babies' father.

“She's very excited to be a mom,” a source told the magazine. “She's been taking it easy and even had to be in a wheelchair during one of Tito's events in Las Vegas.”

According to US magazine, Jameson suffered a miscarriage in 2004 after being diagnosed with malignant melanoma.

brought to you by this bunny:

SCARJO as the BLACK WIDOW

Iron Man 2 is sounding like it almost might be better than the first!! the Black Widow is absolutly awesome and ScarJo playing her will be full of WIN! from E!online news:

Scarlett Johansson is joining the superhero set.

Her rep confirms that the actress has signed on to play Black Widow in the Iron Man sequel opposite Robert Downey Jr. The deal was signed this afternoon.

"Scarlett is thrilled to be a part of Iron Man," her rep, Marcel Pariseau, tells me.

*oh yeah, if anyone cares:*

The Wrestler's comeback kid, Mickey Rourke, has finally sealed a deal to play villain Whiplash, according to Variety.

*I AM STOKED!*

Blind Item!!!

BuzzFoto - This actor has long been a target of speculation about his sexuality. Although he’s had several girlfriends, everyone is generally convinced he is G-A-Y! We have some information that makes us sure that he isn’t. He is indeed very straight. But perhaps his girlfriend should be less concerned about being in public to make him appear straight and pay better attention to his phone bills and who he’s calling for a little kinky conversation. He’s not calling men, if that’s what you’re thinking.

It’s not Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen.

Spin's guess: Toothy Tile.....I mean, Jake Gyllenhaal

Family Guy in trouble again!

I should really watch it more...altho....I do love you so, Seth MacFarlane! We should make babies!! from the live feed:

The Parents Television Council is filing an indecency complaint with the Federal Communications Commission against Fox's "Family Guy" for a March 8 episode that included -- and this is from the press release -- "bestiality, orgies and babies eating sperm."

Since there's nothing hotter than PTC president Tim Winter talking about graphic TV content, let's get right to his quote:

"Fox treated viewers to everything from an ‘eleven-way’ gay orgy to baby Stewie eating a bowl of cereal with horse sperm instead of milk ... if that isn’t enough, the show’s leading character is also shown fanaticizing about his wife and moaning while a horse licks his bare behind. Clearly, the explicit content was not isolated to one instance in one segment of the show; it permeated the entire program."

I know. I can't believe I missed "Family Guy" last week either.

And presumably Winter meant "fantasizing" not "fanaticizing," the latter meaning "to cause to become fanatic."

The PTC is urging its purported 1.3 million members to file FCC complaints against "Family Guy" as well. The organization has a history of taking issue with the show's content and series creator Seth MacFarlane was asked about the PTC last year:

"Oh, yeah. That’s like getting hate mail from Hitler. They’re literally terrible human beings. I’ve read their newsletter, I’ve visited their website, and they’re just rotten to the core. For an organization that prides itself on Christian values — I mean, I’m an atheist, so what do I know? — they spend their entire day hating people. They can all suck my d**k as far as I’m concerned."

Diddy on Ellen

Frankly, Puffy, P Diddy, Piddly Diddly, whatever he calls himself these days, is a douche. Ellen asks him what's up with loaning his house to Chrianna. Also, if a friend hits somebody, you have just been given a 'FREE TO JUDGE' pass, Twitter or not.

PHUCK these ppl and their bbs. I can't even get out 1

Katie Holmes may be coming to the end of her Purification Rundown diet, but it seems she isn’t stopping there with her commitment to Scientology. I can reveal that the 30-year-old actress resolves problems with her husband Tom Cruise by making weekly written confessions, as laid out in the Scientology code.

‘Katie has to confess to something as minor as forgetting to tell him she has met with a friend,’ says a source. ‘If she commits a transgression against the moral code of their marriage, she has to tell Tom in writing, giving full details of the time and place and what happened.’

Katie is currently filming The Extra Man in New York but will return to Los Angeles in May to try for her second child.

Daddy?

The skeleton of a supposed vampire has been exhumed on Lazzaretto Nuovo Island in Venice.

It was found by Matteo Borrini of the University of Florence, who was excavating the mass graves of plague victims from the Middle Ages.

The skeleton was buried with a brick in its mouth, believed to be an ancient method of preventing plague-spreading "vampires" from passing on disease by chewing their shrouds.

Dr Borrini said: "This idea probably originated from the dribble of blood that often came from the mouths of plague victims when they died."

Peer Moore-Jansen of Wichita State University told New Scientist that while the discovery was exciting, he had found similar skeletons in Poland.

*from digital spy*

Wow...

It's amazing that the C of $ hasn't tried to sink their claws into this huge charitable opportunity....there's an entire army of children to be brainwashed right here and OctoMom could enjoy free publicity and readily available, around the clock stand in parents. Win win for the losers all around.

"This Woman Is Nuts": Octomom Births 2nd Ex Flack
Today 8:30 AM PDT by Jefferson Reid
Thompsett, Wordley, PacificCoastNews.com

They say any publicity is good publicity. But at this point, Octomom Nadya Suleman may be thinking any publicist is a good publicist. That's because she just had a second one quit on her, according to Us magazine.

Victor Munoz tells the mag's online outlet that he quit working for the Octuplet Mom Friday night, saying, "This woman is nuts...What ultimately destroyed the business arrangement was personal reasons."

He also says, "It just got to be too much. It's pretty much a free for all over there right now. They are freaking out right now."

The Octopulet mom's first publicist reportedly quit due to death threats, but Munoz apparently found the working environment to be be the real job killer.

"Not to sound arrogant, but those people depended on me for everything. You have no idea what I’ve had to do for these people."

*Brought to you by RDJ staring at you in the airport:*

Vince Vaughn proposed!

And it wasn't to Jennifer Aniston! This might be the last time we hear from ol' Vince, his intended is not an actress/actor. He may just go off into the sunset with her! from omg!

Vince Vaughn is engaged.

Weeks after Us Weekly reported that the actor, 38, proposed to Canadian real estate agent Kyla Weber, her father confirmed the news Thursday in an interview with the Montreal Gazette. He declined to comment any further.

"She's so happy and excited! They clicked from the beginning," a pal recently told Us of the couple. "Kyla never mentions Jennifer Aniston [Vaughn's famous ex]."

Adds the source, "Vince has met Kyla's whole family in Calgary. And she met his family in Chicago. They loved her!"

And women everywhere wept with joy

B/c hitting someone is wrong. If you're that pissed, take a walk. Srsly. from msnbc.com:

LOS ANGELES - Chris Brown is charged with two felonies, including assault and making criminal threats.
In the early morning of Feb. 8, after attending a pre-Grammy party honoring Clive Davis, Brown allegedly bit and hit his girlfriend, R&B star Rihanna, who was hospitalized for the injuries. Brown turned himself in to police and made bail later that day.

*more to come I'm sure*

Bear Grylls: Phony?

Manly man Bear Grylls will surely break even the most macho of hearts with this:




Thanks to my friend Cooper who pointed this out

LAINEY BLIND ITEM!!!

"And not just the gay ones.

He is happily attached but his entire persona pre-commitment was based on the fact that he was just a dude. An immature funloving dude. An un-Hollywood dude who routinely pointed out the Hollywood hypocrisy of many other Hollywood dudes and douchebags.

Now he’s a big star in an A List relationship. Which of course gives him the right to act like a self important little big twat. But how f&cking spiritual is this?

Photo shoot this weekend for a gadget company he endorses. He too pulls out the primadonna moves:

Shows up 3 hours late. And again – don’t look at me, don’t talk to me, don’t even sneeze in my direction, and yes… it was made clear that he preferred to be alone with the photographer between frames, necessitating a run and gun scramble from the crew, meaning the photographer would have to holler for help in a different room every time an adjustment needed to be made.

Can you imagine? Can you imagine verbalising that order? Don’t look at me and don’t talk to me? When did that become ok?

Word is this is not unusual. It’s actually standard procedure where he’s concerned. On another occasion, he was particularly demanding when it came to his favourite tea, steeped for exactly 6 minutes, always needs to be piping hot even if he doesn’t touch it, can’t be microwaved, and he doesn’t like boiled tap water either. He wanted boiled bottled water. A special brand.
It never, ever stops. And it’s even worse when he’s with her. Apparently her makeup brushes have to be cleaned in special water too."

Spin's guess: Ashton Kutcher

*your JA Publicity Moment of Zen*

From this angle, she looks a little pregnant. What do you think?

EPIC LOL!!

This makes my inner 12 year old laugh:

Um.....WHAT?

Look, I'm all for supporting people's personal decisions and respecting what they are trying to do in a relationship but I HATE to see what seems to be a bad decision. It sure as hell didn't work for Tina and Ike. What is really going on? Will her fans turn against her as a result? from yahoo!

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Fans of singers Chris Brown and Rihanna expressed dismay on Saturday at reports the couple had reunited just three weeks after Brown was alleged to have assaulted her.

Celebrity magazines People and Us Weekly said that the R&B stars were spending time together at the Miami home of hip hop mogul Sean "Diddy" Combs -- and that Rihanna 's father was supporting her decision.

"I love my daughter with whatever road she takes. I'm behind her win or lose. I will be supportive. If that's the road she wants to choose, I'm behind her," Rihanna 's dad Ronald Fenty told Us Weekly from his Barbados home.

Fans could scarcely believe the news that came a week after a picture, showing the 21-year-old "Umbrella" singer with bruises to her face and swollen lips, was leaked on the Internet.

"All the abusive men are celebrating," Highroller33138 wrote in a posting on the MTV.com website. "It sets a terrible example for women everywhere. Rihanna really disappointed me."

"Stupid, really stupid. ... I hate women like this," wrote ladyofthelake in a posting on TVGuide.com.

On Friday People quoted an unidentified source saying the couple, who had been dating for about a year, were back together.



UPDATE from radaronline:

The Chris Brown case has been officially turned over to the Los Angeles District Attorney's office today by the LAPD, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively. The Los Angeles Police Department has been working the case since February 8. Brown was arrested after a physical altercation with girlfriend Rhianna. The case had been previously rejected by the DA's office and kicked back to LAPD investigators but it's not expected to be kicked back again.

Another Blog Bites it....

You know the economy, or sukonomy as it is appropriate, is bad when gossip sites have to consolidate or shut down. the latest casualty is Defamer:

Defamer is indeed going out of business. Well, sort of. The brand is folded into Gawker, which, too, apparently thought we had crossed a line — one of the bottom variety, far below where our sister blogs' own irreverence has found and sustained viability. There are many reasons for that, not the least of which is their ability to corner niche markets on wit, cynicism, insight and disdain.

Follow this link for the hilarious Defamer Dictionary.

I am sorry to see them go, I shall miss their unique west coast flavor of snark! Defamer, you shall be missed.

I know....

I said I was gonna take time off, but I found tidbits for you! I'm really tired and beatup tho....This is how it feels to have hypothyroidism: It's like an achy, awful hangover that no amount of sleep can cure and you just can't shake it.

On the other hand, we have the styling skeleton, Rachel Zoe, who seems to be getting hit hard with the economy! What, celebs are trying to dress themselves? Maybe they are just sick of being associated with a bag of bones. From A socialite's life:

A spy at the pre-Oscar Weinstein Co./Valentino party told Page Six that they spotted Rachel Zoe "flipping out over the phone and screaming at the top of her lungs" at L.A.'s Andaz Hotel.

Rumor has it that the nutrition-deficient stylist is super stressed because her new status as a budding reality star is reportedly "interfering with her styling work."

Reportedly, Rachel lost Debra Messing as a client as a result. However, the Bravo star's publicist denies that Cameron Diaz dropped Zoe as her stylist. "Despite anything else she does, [Rachel] is a stylist first and foremost. She's still holding people's trains and sewing them into their dress. That's her priority."

As well it should be. These celebrities certainly can't make themselves look skeletal all by themselves.

She's hiding something

It's the way she acts and speaks, contempt for her mother and the way her face moves. The Octo-bitch is hiding something. Wish I knew what it was. from Radar online:

Jump Here for the latest interview.

and for the latest:

Attorney Gloria Allred has been granted permission by Denis Baudin, an ex-boyfriend of Nadya Suleman, who donated sperm on three different occasions, and has said he could be the father of all fourteen children to release the following statement, "Denis Baudin is in support of any measure, resources dedicated to the care and support of Ms. Suleman and her children including Angels in Waiting."

As RadarOnline.com has previously reported, Angels In Waiting has offered 24/7 care for the octuplets, the other six children, and Nadya, but that offer expires at midnight tonight. Gloria tells us that she hasn't yet heard from Nadya.

OK kids...

your pal Spin is sick.....I have a thyroid problem that's developed....so I'm gonna take a few (just a few days off) unless of course, something big breaks....but I want to rest up a little and feel better so I can give you the snark that you deserve. For that, I need my new meds and some sleep. The very very latest you should see me is monday....I'll probably be back this weekend. But instead of being



I'd like to leave you with something better to contemplate because



So here is the hypnotic groove of JayZ for your indulgence

O Rly?

Color me surprised (insert eye roll here)....Holly and Criss that douche split! from gossip rocks:

Now you see them, now you don't.

The original Girl Next Door, Holly Madison, has amicably parted ways with her Mindfreak beau, Criss Angel, after nearly four months of dating.

"She was very much in love with him, and they're still very close friends," a source close to the former couple told E! News, adding that the decision to split was mutual.

"It was a conflict of schedules. She felt she couldn't devote 100 percent of her time in Vegas and his career at the expense of her career and her goals."

The 29-year-old Madison and 41-year-old Angel had been cohabitating at the magician's Sin City abode since December, but the Playboy pinup recently moved back in with family.

The two were first spotted cozying up last October, shortly after Madison and Hugh Hefner had called it quits. While Angel and Madison at first claimed to be just good friends, they quickly went public with their romance, moved in together and even—a first for Madison—met each others' parents.

Despite news of the split, the couple's relationship has showed no signs of outward strain recently.

On Valentine's Day, the pair was spotted smooching it up in Sin City, and just last month they vacationed in Cabo San Lucas, along with fellow reality star Paula Abdul.

Robert Dowdy Juror Post!

yes I stole that. whatever. from contactmusic.com:

Oscar nominee ROBERT DOWNEY JR. is expanding his theatrical repertoire - by writing a stage musical.

The star, who lost out on a Best Supporting Actor Academy Award on Sunday (22Feb09), has revealed he has been working on the project for a number of years, and is tirelessly trying to get it finished.

Downey Jr says, "I'm a little busy right now. Every two years or so I'm saying that I am going to do a big musical; I'm just tired of saying that I am going to do stuff that sounds cool. If I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it."

And he insists he isn't just trying to cash in on his fame and recent career resurgence - because he has always considered himself to be a musician.

The Iron Man star adds, "It's always lame when somebody gets really famous and they say they're going to be a singer. I'm like, 'You've already won the lottery, so take it easy, moron!' But I'm also a composer and I sing what I write."

Downey, Jr has already tasted a little musical success - his 2004 album The Futurist was well received and he also recorded a Christmas album with Vonda Shepard.

Nicole Richie carrying baby #2!!!

congrats to her and Joel! Paris must be almost dead from jealousy. from gossip rocks:

Baby Harlow (13 months) is going to be a big sister!

Nicole Richie and partner Joel Madden just announced late last night that baby number two is on the way for them!

Joel posted an entry entitled, “Better than winning an OSCAR!”, on the official Good Charlotte blog at 11pm last night.

It said: “What’s better than winning an Oscar? I am so happy to tell everyone that Harlow is going to be a big sister! God has truly blessed my family. Hope your (sic) all feeling as good as i am right now………”

O I Hope So!!!

Han Solo has been with his lady for quite a while! from SFGate:

Harrison Ford is reportedly set to wed his longtime girlfriend Calista Flockhart, according to reports.

The couple, who have been dating since 2002, became engaged on April 1, 2007, and are now ready to walk down the aisle after reportedly applying for a marriage license in the town of Jackson Hole, Wyo., where they own a home.

New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams writes, "Jackson Hole bigmouths swear Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart took blood tests and got licenses so (it) could be they already are, or soon will be, filing joint returns."

Flockhart, 44, has a son, Liam, whom she adopted in 2001, while Ford, 66, has four children -- two adult sons with first wife Mary Marquardt, and a son and daughter from his second marriage to Melissa Mathison.

From TMZ

Rihanna's battered photo

Dee-lite

Groove is in the Heart for your weekend pleasure!

Ellen and Portia to have a baby

Well, Portia's not working or doing jack right now anyway, so why not? From digital spy:

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi are planning to have a baby, it has been claimed.

The couple are said to be undergoing in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment in a bid to have a biological child together, Star reports.

A source told the magazine: "They would love a boy. But would truly be happy with any healthy baby.

"[De Rossi] is prepared to go through [IVF] ten times if she has to. Whatever it takes to get pregnant, she'll do it.

"Ellen and Portia are mad about each other and having a child together will only strengthen their bond."

The source added that Arrested Development star De Rossi has changed her eating habits in the hope of gaining weight before she starts the treatment.

DeGeneres and De Rossi married last year in a ceremony at their Beverly Hills home.

Katy Perry pukes

I know, I know, like you care.....but she hurled instead of kissing a girl. from Holy Moly!

Faux-controversial pop star Katy Perry might have picked up a Brit last night for Best International Female, but the poor lamb yakked her guts up after receiving the award.

She had complained in her acceptance speech that she wasn't feeling very well and, as soon as she got off stage, threw up.

Far be it from us to suggest that this is exactly how every viewer reacted when she got the award. Actually, fuck it - Katy, your vomiting was nothing compared to the tidal wave of spew that crashed towards every TV screen in the country last night. So think on.

Michael Phelps Cleared!

Hurray! Now let him get back to his endorsements, training for the next Olympics and obligated parties, as nature intended.

from Gawker.com:

Swimming champion and amateur bud enthusiast Michael Phelps will not face charges stemming from the infamous bong picture that recently surfaced. Eight of his fellow partygoers, previously arrested for possession, have been cleared.

The Richland County (SC) sheriff who arrested the revelers has said that "we do not believe we have enough evidence to prosecute anyone that was present at the November party." A party during which Phelps and friends got blazed and then some narc took a picture. So justice has been done, except for whoever took that photo.

Sick of this yet?

Chris & Rihanna just need to get over each other so we can go on with other gossip!! From digital spy:

Rex Features

Rihanna has decided to end her relationship with Chris Brown following their alleged altercation last weekend, according to a report.

Brown was arrested on February 8 amid claims that he had turned violent in an argument with the 'Disturbia' singer.

The News Of The World has now suggested that Rihanna considered taking Brown back following the incident, but changed her mind following discussions with her family and close friends.

An insider revealed: "Rihanna really did think that Chris was the love of her life. But when everyone started to question their relationship, she burst into tears and reluctantly agreed that they were right. She just can’t believe it's ended this way."

Brown's father recently insisted that the R&B star is "very remorseful", but warned that there are "two sides to every story".

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

For being such a great Valentine of mine, I'm giving you David Bowie's Rebel Rebel:





and if you're like many people and have to find a job, allow me to offer Billy Squier and the advice of The Stroke cuz a little bribery and ass-kissing can take you far:

Gambit post!

Here's a sneak peek of Gambit in the new X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie. I'm skeptical of Taylor Kitsch being cast as Gambit, he just doesn't seem right. Gambit is supposed to be.....well, sexy. Anyhow, here's a looksie from ONTD:

Blind Item!

Star Magazine
The honeymoon is already over for this newly married duo. When hubby got caught flirting with a delivery girl and dishing out a $100 tip, his misses flipped.

*Spin's guess: Pete and Ass-lee*

Bob Marley makes it all better.

Enjoy! Stir it up

Wanna hear something funny?

I heard this this a.m. on Jack 103.7 fm. It seems the city of Houston's court computers were hit with a virus last Friday. The virus took down the system, they have been closed since then! Could this be a test run for something bigger maybe? No bidness is gettin handled at Houston courts for now! Stay tuned!

Is Chris Brown Done?

from msnbc.com:

LOS ANGELES - New details have emerged over the alleged incident on Sunday morning between Chris Brown and a woman who authorities have not officially identified, but a source tells Access Hollywood is Rihanna.

The source told Access Hollywood that Chris Brown allegedly hit Rihanna with his fists and bit her during the alleged incident, which took place around 12:30 a.m. on Sunday.

Brown, 19, was arrested on Sunday and charged with felony criminal threats. He was released on $50,000 bail.

The Los Angeles Police Department is still investigating the alleged domestic violence felony battery and told Access that additional charges may be filed.

Authorities released information to Access Hollywood that Brown and a woman were arguing in a car in the Hancock Park area of Los Angeles just after midnight on Sunday. Brown reportedly stopped the car, he and the woman got out and the argument escalated. LAPD reports the woman suffered visible injuries.

Following the incident, Brown reportedly left, leaving Rihanna at the scene.

Radar Online reported that a source inside Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where Rihanna was reportedly taken following the incident, said the singer became emotional when two female “assistants” went to visit her at the facility.

“Rihanna was clearly very upset by what had happened and I could hear her screaming,” the source said. “Rihanna was trying to get her point across about something, she sounded like she was crying as she tried to get… her point across.”

Cake- for your entertainment

their cover of I Will Survive which is FULL OF WIN

Outed?

What do you think? Has Jake been pulled out of the closet? found this on gossip rocks and from Ian Halperin:

IUC Exclusive: IUC Investigation Reveals Jake Gyllenhaal Definitely a Flaming Poofter - Relationship with Reese is Toast

In case you hadn’t noticed, I removed the photo of Jake Gyllenhaal today from my list, featuring a photo of one celeb who is not gay.

Does this mean that I’m outing Jake? Is the Pope German?

The worst kept secret in Hollywood is that for almost four years,
Gyllenhaal has been anxious to break out of the celluloid closet. My
old friend Ted Casablanca has posted repeated notorious blind items
about this since 2005, discussing a mysterious celeb who he dubbed
“Toothy Tile,” documenting Gyllenhaal’s baby steps out of the closet,
only to be shoved firmly back in at the insistence of his publicists
and management who advised Jake that it would be career suicide for
him to take the leap.

This has resulted in the increasingly sad spectacle of Jake hitting
the town with a series of beards in the fine old tradition of
Hollywood. Think James Dean and Nathalie Wood. Or, more accurately
Cary Grant and Randolph Scott, who used to publicly hold hands and
gaze longingly into each other’s eyes at the Brown Derby restaurant
in Hollywood, as Toothy Tile was said to have done surreptitiously at
a restaurant with his boyfriend in one of Ted’s earliest blind items.
Unfortunately, Ted’s lawyers at E have put a straitjacket on him,
preventing him from releasing the name of the subject of the world’s
most famous blind item (though Ted refused to confirm this to me when
I had him on IUC for a live chat a couple of weeks ago.)

For a complete archive of Casablanca’s four-year documentation of the increasingly sad Toothy Tile’s revolving closet doors, check out
Toothy Tile - Blogs and Archive.

Fatty Simpleton screws up

from msnbc.com:

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - A bizarre 38-minute set by opening act Jessica Simpson inadvertently stole the spotlight from headliner Rascal Flatts in a show at the Van Andel Arena.

The Grand Rapids Press said Simpson forgot her lyrics, struggled with her ear monitors, mumbled through songs and fought back tears during Thursday night’s performance.

At one point, the 28-year-old singer-actress asked her backing band to start over on one song, and she forgot the words to another.

“Jessica had an off night,” Cindi Berger, a representative for Simpson, said Friday. “She’s a perfectionist, and wanted to start some of the songs over. She always wants to give her best performance to her fans.”

Simpson apologized to the supportive audience of about 9,000 by mouthing the word “sorry” on two large video screens.

While introducing her last song, Simpson said she sometimes feels like quitting. She appeared to be wiping away tears after finishing the song and walking off the stage.

*Time to quit, dearie. Here's video: http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=ad3eb17c-d18b-407d-a930-a4fabc954afb *

Fear Not!

I have not abandoned you, my dear readers! Had a lot on my plate this week with a funeral and being horribly sick. But I am here now and I give you this blind item as an offering, from holy moly!

which footballer (probably the most famous one in the world) immediately legged it from a recent party in the States after being offered a line of cocaine, because he thought it was a trap by the papers?

*Becks!*

For Good Measure!

from OMG!:

LOS ANGELES - Britney Spears has obtained a restraining order against former pal Osama "Sam" Lutfi and one-time boyfriend Adnan Ghalib , court records show.

Attorneys for Spears and her father, who is her legal conservator, received the order Friday. The documents state that Lutfi, Ghalib and attorney Jon Eardley have been trying to gain control of Spears' affairs.

"On the first anniversary of the establishment of the conservatorship, the co-conservators are informed and believe that these three figures are working in concert to disrupt the conservatorship, with an utter disregard for Ms. Spears' health and well being," the documents state.

Lutfi was a manager and friend of Spears, whose mother once accused him of grinding pills into her food to control her. Ghalib, a paparazzo, had dated the singer.

Judge Aviva K. Bobb signed a temporary restraining order Friday forbidding Lutfi, Ghalib and Eardley from having contact with Spears, her parents and her young children. A hearing on whether to extend the order is scheduled for next month.

The documents, released late Friday, claim that Lutfi tried to contact Spears in late December by sending text messages to her hairdresser. The documents state Lutfi later started sending text messages to Spears and one of her father's attorneys, Blair Berk, trying to arrange a meeting.

Spears father, Jamie, wrote in a sworn declaration that he has found Lutfi's phone number in his daughter's phone records.

The documents state that Spears continues to inform Ghalib of her travel "and that he then arranges for paparazzi to meet and film her to his financial benefit," the documents state.

*All this makes me think of is 'Toxic'*

Tony Romo Busted?

from digital spy:

Jessica Simpson's boyfriend Tony Romo has been accused of having an affair with another woman.

The American football player reportedly spent the night with a brunette after inviting friends back to his home while Simpson was away.

"Everyone was talking about it downstairs. The girls were saying it was so wrong and shady of Tony to cheat on Jessica - especially in her place!" a source told Starmagazine.

"I just can't believe he would hook up with another woman at his own girlfriend's house."

The couple started dating in November 2007. Romo has so far refused to respond to the claims.

*It's cuz she's fat and he didn't wanna roll a piggie >.<>

ONTD Broke!

Oh noes!  Here's the most recent post, it seems they hit the maximum allowed comments and well, fall down go BOOM!:

UPDATE
via lj_maintenance:

"I think a wise man once said, "you better check yo'self before you wreck yo'self" or something along those lines. ONTD is great because not only do they provide hours of fun, they also push our application and highlight the pressure points. No, ONTD didn't break LJ, and no they didn't break themselves (well, not really), what they did is point out that "hey! there might be a journal or community that has over 16 million comments! no, really!".

Here's the poop.

Problem: LJ was designed with a 24 bit limitation on number of comments -- in the database and in crucial parts of our commenting code. This may have been done for speed optimization, resource conservation, for the children, whatever. It was done with good intentions and now we have BAAAD intentions because the theoretical limit for a journal's comments is 16,777,216 (2^24). And ONTD just did *that*.

Solution?: Our crack team of crack teamsters is picking through code and releasing the 16 million limit (see here) as well as modifying the databases.

Risk?: We haven't deployed ANY of the new code to the website yet, and we've only started testing the alter statements on one of our secondary databases, but if things continue to test well, there is a SMAAAAALL risk that when we attempt to modify the rest of the databases, LJ could drop bits. All over the floor. But we're really trying to make sure that doesn't happen, and in spite of burr86 and dormando's help (hahaha, got you guys) tupshin, henrylyne, gariev, nicholaskurjan and mhwest will continue to work at getting rabid ONTD fans their due fix. It might be a bumpy weekend."

*so Buddha Obrien won't be posting soon!  I know, I know.....who the hell is that!  the point is, I hope this site gets back up sooon!*

Still Sick

but went into work today to share the joy of this throat pain.  You know the kind, when you sneeze and it hurts.  Yes, I felt the need to spread the love....virus, whatever.  I'm passive aggressive like that.  If I'm gonna be sick, I'm taking as many as I can down with me.  But I do offer this awesome picture.  Feel better?

Sorry Kids

Spin has a nasty throat infection going right now.....not feeling well.  Hope to be back at snarking sooon!

At Least She's Honest

I can respect her for that!  From Digital Spy:

Katy Perry has said that her comments about taking a year-long vow of celibacy were intended as a joke.

It was reported yesterday that the American popstar planned to avoid sex following her split from Gym Class Heroes' Travis McCoy.

"No kissing anyone. Just my cat, Kitty Purry," she said.

However, the 'I Kissed A Girl' singer has now retracted the comments, insisting that she was just messing around.

"I am not going to be celibate," she told People. "That was a joke, and any fine journalist would have got that."

She added: "Please, celibacy for the whole year? I'd rather die."

Blind Item!!

from CDAN...see if you can guess who it is!

Now, I know there are some bad dates out there, but you would think that if you are in your 20's you wouldn't have to have your teenage girlfriend pay for all your dates and your clothes and if you get cash from the parents it is the same thing because she is earning all the money anyway.

Nothing you don't already know

But there's a book coming out telling all about how Paris Hilton is a big gaping skank. You can read the review from Gawker here.

I will say that after reading just the excerpts, I feel the need to scrub myself with Comet, followed by a stiff gouging out of my eyes. I think I even got herpes from just reading it. On the plus side, Taxicab Fingerbang would be a great new internet name! Or a good name for a punk band. Whatever. Anyhow, it might be a good read, just because of these two paragraphs from the review:

New book Six Degrees of Paris Hilton profiles Darnell Riley, a shady criminal and pseudo-celebrity hanger-on who knows many wicked Hollywood-sleaze secrets. The tome spins many damning stories about the hood-lidded socialite's sordid existence.

Riley, who is in prison for robbing, sexually assaulting, and blackmailing Joe Francis, says that, for sure, Hilton was in on the whole first sex tape charade. And, he alleges, it wasn't the last time the Simple Life reality stain filmed herself in flagrante delicto. Riley supposedly got a hold of several ssseeecret tapes of the nightclub fly. By, you know, stealing them from some "Russian kids" who had stolen them from her house.

*anybody who robs, sexually assaults and blackmails Joe Francis is a hero in my book! Just think of the entertainment value!*

Viva La Pop

If you have not seen or heard this offering of a mashup of hits from 2008, done by DJ Earworm, you must watch.  This is the SHIT! it is awesome in production.  I give you Viva La Pop:

Shizzle in the Hizzle?

I'm not one to post political thingies here but this gossip with political lacings was a little too juicy to pass up about Sarah Palin's family. from Gawker.com:

Please let this be true. According to a barely literate MySpace message, Sarah Palin is snubbing the family of Levi Johnston, the jock who knocked up Bristol, because they're "white trash." (Not that we'd disagree.)

The message was supposedly left by Mercede Johnston, Levi's 18-year-old sister, on the page of Mellissa Wilfong, a former Wasilla resident who now lives in Florida, to tell her about an upcoming trip to Orlando. As an aside, she notes that she and her mom (that would be Sherry, the one who was busted for dealing OxyContin) aren't allowed to visit Bristol and Levi's love child.

For those who have trouble reading the prose of this fine product of the Wasilla school system, here's a translation:

Levi is in a bit of a haze right now... Umm, I'm not allowed to see my nephew and my mom isn't either. We aren't Palins so therefore we are white trash and Bristol doesn't want her baby around us. So mom and I are really upset over it. I just hope Levi pulls his head out of his butt and lets us see our nephew and her grandbaby.

It's not just the utter inability to spell that makes us think this is the real Mercede. Her MySpace page (which is set to private) has been the source of other fun Palin family revelations. In happier days, i.e. last year, Mercede visited the Palin household soon after Sarah's magical baby Trigg was born (see above). And Wilfong appears to be in the Palin orbit as well. Last September, while everyone was claiming that Trigg was actually Bristol's baby, she piped up on Fox News' web site to tell everyone to shut up, note that her sons used to attend school with Bristol, and that she wouldn't be voting for her former Mayor. (Smart lady.)

Oh Noes!

can't be true....from ONTD:

Britney Spears has thrown her platinum-selling career comeback into a tailspin by threatening to cancel her $100 million world tour, The Circus Featuring Britney Spears, which will launch in New Orleans this March.

“Britney doesn’t want to do it, and she’s telling her father Jamie that,” an insider for The National Enquirer reports, adding that, “All the dates are booked-and $100 million would be lost if she bails.”

“Both her father and ex-husband Kevin Federline are telling her she has to go on for the sake of her kids and their financial future,” the source confided. “Jamie needs this tour for Britney to secure her wealth.”

The tabloid claims the pop tart is feeling the pressure of a grueling training schedule necessary for the 33-city North American leg of the tour.“She is already exhausted getting in shape….Britney feels like she’s being forced to tour.”

According to The Enquirer, Jamie and Kevin both have a lot to lose if Britney runs away from The Circus.“Britney can’t back out now-there’s just too much at stake.”

“She is already exhausted getting in shape for the trip. And her focus has changed, too - Britney just wants to be a stay-at-home mom to her two boys. Britney feels like she is being forced to tour. Jamie has made it clear he wants to get her back to where she was.”

But Britney, 27, hates the tour’s set-up, which includes Kevin - who has custody of their boys - tagging along. That concession was the only way she could have the boys with her, so she reluctantly agreed…“Kevin is working on a deal for a reality show based on following her ‘Circus’ tour.”

*I call BS*

Blind Items!

Sorry for the laziness, these are all off of ONTD, if you want to check sources.  Word came down from the top today at work about hiring freezes and possible layoffs, so I'm kind of in OMYGAWDGOTTAFINDANOTHERJOB meltdown mode.  

1. Which aging action star had a leisurely conversation with a young, hunky co-star on set — all while being pleasured by an extra? source

2. Catty at the Casting Call. Normally, when an actor goes on a casting call, they are on their best behavior. This one well-known film actor, however, somehow thinks that the rules don’t apply to her. Although she was heavily favored for the role in a film that will almost certainly become a hit, she showed up late and was rude to the person at the front desk. She then whipped out her cell phone in the waiting area and proceeded to quietly but audibly bad mouth the lead actor who was already attached to the film, calling him a “fucking loser”. By the time she was ushered into the meeting, word of her bad behavior had already reached the director. He gave the star a scant five minutes of his time, and dismissed her with barely a comment. The role will go to another actress. source

3. This up and coming known for his very good looks C list actor with B list name recognition who is right on the verge of becoming huge, has a major medical issue he is facing. Apparently he needs to have some oral surgery to remove a growth on his tongue. It could impair his ability to speak properly and permanently derail his career. For now he is keeping the upcoming surgery quiet, so as to not jeopardize any further opportunities from coming his way while at the same time hoping it doesn't cost any lasting damage. source

4. This A list film actress has barely admitted to getting botox. Always presumed to be a natural beauty, it turns out that in addition to botox she has also got her breasts augmented and had lipo, all while under the guise of being in the hospital for completely different reasons. source

*Spin's guesses:  1) Bruce Willis  2)  Megan Fox?  Jessica Alba?  3) That Edward twat from twatlight?  4) Kate Winslet

SJP & Matthew Broderick to split?

I swore he was gay! Maybe that's the big news here. From A Socialite's Life:

I guess he took the mole with him. Star magazine is reporting that Matthew Broderick

has been engaging in some extramarital activities while wife Sarah Jessica Parker has been busy with her career.

And get this? It was with some chick! I coulda sworn it would be a dude. C'mon, he's into musical theater and he's married to Carrie Bradshaw so he can try on her shoes and mince when she's not around.

More details from the Star magazine story that claims that Matthew Broderick's extramarital dalliances simply grew too much for the Sex and the City star to continue going through the motions of marriage.

Sarah Jessica Parker is reportedly house-hunting for a home that will not include her hubby. Even though the couple have been "living separate lives," she only recently decided to take action.

If anybody cares....

Toothy Tile....I mean, Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon may be engaged. From Janet Charlton:

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have a secret. Recently they were at a Lakers game seated next to Jeffrey Katzenberg. An eyewitness told us that at half time Reese was fiddling with an antique style diamond ring on her engagement finger. She showed it to Jeffrey and whispered something to him. Jeffrey looked around and advised her "You'd better take that ring off before people see it!" She and Jake chuckled and she slipped the ring off and put it in her pocket. The pair were very affectionate and touchy during the game. We think they got engaged for real over the holidays!

Quickies...

from omg!:

Fergie and Josh Duhamel are husband and wife.

The two tied the knot under magnolias filled with white roses Saturday at an ultra-private ceremony at the Church Estates Vineyards in Malibu, Calif., Usmagazine.com can confirm. Black Eyed Peas' will.i.am was among the guests. (Around 5:09 p.m., attendees were overheard saying that the two had wed; cheers were also heard outside the estate.)

"It's official! Fergie and Josh tied the knot tonight in Malibu," her manager tells Us. "The Black Eyed Peas were all there. The ceremony was incredible! And they're still partying!"

from Dailymail.uk:

Jailbird Blake Fielder-Civil has instructed a lawyer to begin divorce proceedings against Amy Winehouse after seeing pictures of the singer cavorting with another man in the Caribbean.

Celebrity lawyer Henri Brandman told MailOnline that Blake had instructed him to launch the action on the grounds of Amy's adultery. It is thought that Blake will go for half of Amy's £10 million fortune.

The move comes as loved-up Amy told a Sunday newspaper that she has finally kicked her drug habit. The star also admitted that she had 'forgotten I'm even married' to Blake, claiming 'our whole marriage was based on doing drugs'. 

and from ONTD:

Madonna is reportedly being targeted by Muslim fanatics.

The US singer - who follows the Jewish rooted faith Kabbalah - has added to her personal security team and warned ex-husband Guy Ritchie to increase protection for the children they raise, Lourdes 12, Rocco, eight and adopted David Banda, three.

A source told Britain's The People newspaper: "Madonna is well known for her Kabbalah faith and support for Israel, having visited the country several times.

"This seems to upset extreme Muslims who forget she respects people of all faiths whether Islamic, Christian or Buddhist. Like anyone else she would like to see a peaceful end to the problems in Gaza.

"But she is beside herself with worry, not just for her own safety, but for that of the children."

Extremists angry about the current situation in Gaza - where Israeli and Palestinian groups have been warring since the beginning of the year - have taken their attack on western values to a personal level, writing hate messages about Madonna on websites.

According to The People, Palestinian leader Abdel-Al wrote on site Islambase.com: "If I meet these w****s I will have the honour of to be the first one to cut the head off Madonna if they will keep spreading their satanic culture against Islam."

*and just for your amusement......KOREAN OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE:*